Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man

by Emmanuel Acho

The question of whether to use black or African American is ultimately a preference, one that helps a person present their identity to the world. Each person you meet might not have a preference, but maybe they do. Trust me, language matters.

And white privilege is about the word white, not rich. It’s having advantage built into your life. It’s not saying your life hasn’t been hard; it’s saying your skin color hasn’t contributed to the difficulty in your life.

Karen is also the granddaughter of a much older figure, “Miss Ann.” Miss Ann was the name enslaved black people gave to white mistresses who exerted power over them on plantations. That’s right—not only is there a long history of white women using their whiteness as a tool of control, there’s a long history of meme-ing it.

There’s no White History Month because we celebrate the accomplishments of white people Every. Single. Day.

Researchers say black people that experience chronic racism can develop something called racial battle fatigue, a state that includes, among other symptoms, anxiety, worry, hypervigilance, headaches, and increased heart rate and blood pressure. A study by the National Comorbidity Survey Replication and the National Survey of American Life found that almost one in ten black people actually have PTSD.

For more on transracial adoption, check out the documentary Black, White & Us, which follows four white families who have adopted black children. Another one to put on your to-watch list is Closure, which is about a woman who was transracially adopted by white parents.

Throughout all this history, white privilege has ruled how these conflicts were described. When it was white people instigating the violence, the media, politicians, law enforcement, and eventually historians called what was a massacre a race riot.

I’m in no way saying violence is necessary to create progress—but I am saying it’s easy to condemn the latter, and we also have to look at who is doing the condemning and how it compares to the justifications for protest in the first place.

This chapter’s title comes from the late civil rights hero John Lewis, who had this to say about the fight for equality: “Do not get lost in a sea of despair. Be hopeful, be optimistic. Our struggle is not the struggle of a day, a week, a month, or a year; it is the struggle of a lifetime. Never, ever be afraid to make some noise and get in good trouble, necessary trouble.”

In prison, because they can be used as weapons or in suicides, belts are off-limits. Since prison uniforms aren’t all that concerned with fit either, incarcerated humans have been known to walk around with pants too big in the waist—hence the sagging.