I was given an on-the-ground crash course. Central to this complex system is respect for older males, whether relatives or community elders. These are some of the codes of conduct: the senior of two elders in the room must never be addressed. An elder brother can never see the face of his sister-in-law. If a child falls over, you cannot pick it up in front of the elder, the elder will. A husband or wife must never be spoken to in front of the elders. The mother must be honoured in precedence over the wife, who has the lowest standing in the household. “There is a lot of shame in the display of
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