Inevitable (Stonewood Brothers, #1)

by Shain Rose

Every run, he kissed me senseless. I didn’t ask him what we were. I didn’t even mention the kisses. I just took what Jax Stonewood was willing to give. I fell madly in love with him. The night he took my virginity, he let me be awkward. He soothed every imperfection and worry I had, like he knew every one of them. He’d found every weakness of mine and made me feel like it was a strength.

“I figure you’re only as sweet as your favorite spice and yours is cinnamon. Sweet as sin.”

I was fucking doomed when it came to her. She was the only thing I believed in. She was my heaven and hell.

“That’s evidence that I remember. I remember the first time with you, taking what was mine, is mine, and will always be mine. Fucking you is all I think about.”

Beside that lake, I did the most selfish thing I could have ever done. I fucked her, branded her as mine, and took everything I could, knowing I would break her by leaving her behind that night. I just didn’t know I’d be breaking myself too.

“Well, everyone calls me that now, Jax.” She may not have meant it as an insult but her grouping me in with everyone else felt like a sucker punch to the gut. I wasn’t supposed to be everyone. I was supposed to be the only one.

Love was an addiction and overdosing on it left bad toxicology reports, destruction, and fatalities.

“It’s still one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen in this world and one of the only things I can’t seem to live without. No matter how fucking hard I try.”

“Does it matter?” I whispered. He touched his forehead to mine and searched my eyes as if he could gaze the answer out of me. “Yes, baby, it matters.” “Why?” “Because I need to know how long it's going to take me to erase every time you were with him from your memory.”

“You want me to handle this with Frank and the tabloids?” “I’ve got it taken care of.” “Your mom loves Frank’s girl like her own, Jax,” he warned. “Yeah, and I love her more than I do my music, my life, and my damn soul combined,” I answered back. He sighed and ran a hand over his face. “I figured that. Be careful, then.” “Always am when it comes to what’s mine.”

I’m detached because it’s all I’ve ever known. It’s also what I want. My detachment is my survival. Your love is yours. You love. I don’t. And it’s okay to love. It’s why we balance each other so well.”

“I’ve tried to let it go. To let it go means I have to let you go too. And for some reason, I just can’t seem to do that.”

“Logically, I only want to fuck you even in the midst of fucking someone else …” I gasped at his admission but he kept stripping, unzipping his pants again. “Logically, the idea of you fucking someone even if you are thinking of me makes me see red, Sweet Sin.” He dropped his pants and pushed his body against mine to walk me back into his bed. “Logically, you're mine and I don't share.” “Jax, that's not logical at all.”

“Your ass wasn’t invited.” I started to reprimand him but Jax cut me off. “A lot of time has been wasted and I’m not willing to waste anymore. You see her, you’ll be seeing me.”

“You know I’ve said it before, I wish I could say something different. I don’t know if it will work out. But if you avoid trying, you’ve chosen to fail miserably by default and then you will never move on. Life is brutal when you live with all those regrets.”

“He’s nothing but a man who gave you life, then took the life that was most important to you.” She stared deep down into the dark depths of me as she said, “Are you talking about my mother or are you talking about you? Because I lost both of you to him.”

“Better to be crazy together, than nothing at all apart,”

I love you, Peaches. I don’t ever say it right, but I mean it every time. Shit, woman, I mean it even when I don’t say it all.”