Inevitable (Stonewood Brothers, #1)

by Shain Rose

Jay didn’t miss a beat though. Our friendship was an immovable force even when every one of the girls he hooked up with hated me. His friendship made me unpopular.

"You want me to call you Bowser?" I said trying to get the upper hand, but as he crossed the finish line in first place, I slumped. "No, Peaches. You can just call me winner." I glared but kept my eyes on the screen. “You’ll always be last place in my book. L.P. L.P. rolls off the tongue quite nicely too.” He grumbled something about showing me what could roll off my tongue nicely but I ignored him, so happy with my quick work on a degrading nickname for him.

The angry red that I saw melted to black and white as I realized my bun must have come loose when I’d fallen. The rage pumping through my veins turned ice cold as Jax’s gaze—always so calculated—flashed so many emotions in a second, I couldn’t read even one. Jax whispered so softly that I barely heard it, “Your hair, Peaches, what happened to your beautiful hair?” The tears that hadn’t come in days, that hadn’t fallen when I combed my newly short hair or when I looked in the mirror or even from the embarrassment of falling in front of everyone at school, began to fall then.

“She left us, just for him,” Aubrey said. Her voice cracked and sounded numb, void of emotion. It didn’t sound like her at all. Her mother’s decision had changed her. My decision changed me too. I left both of Aubrey’s parents to die to save her. I left them to burn to death, and I felt void of guilt. That was the day I realized I’d do anything for that girl. It was the day I realized I loved her.

Some runs we didn’t talk at all. We just absorbed each other, because that’s what you do when you fall in love with someone. Every run, he kissed me senseless. I didn’t ask him what we were. I didn’t even mention the kisses. I just took what Jax Stonewood was willing to give. I fell madly in love with him. The night he took my virginity, he let me be awkward. He soothed every imperfection and worry I had, like he knew every one of them. He’d found every weakness of mine and made me feel like it was a strength. That night, he told me he needed me. There was a rarity in Jax Stonewood needing anything from anyone. I naively thought that would keep us together.

“I figure you’re only as sweet as your favorite spice and yours is cinnamon. Sweet as sin.”

I’d made up my mind when I grabbed her from the fire that day. I chose to leave her parents behind. I chose to leave my friends and everyone else who didn’t understand behind. I chose her and no one else. Life and death situations like that make things crystal clear.

Sometimes, I thought I loved her, would risk everything for her, even murder for her. Other times, I hated her for the constant reminder that I’d already done all those things. That I was capable of doing anything.

I hated that every time she looked at me with those green eyes, she saw her savior instead of her demise.

Aubrey had to go back to school though. She had to face the town, and she would have to face it without me, the only person she thought was helping her stand. I knew I had to jump off the pedestal for both of us. I also knew the jump would shatter the whole damn house and our relationship with it. So, when she’d uttered that question, standing barefoot in the lake that I deemed ours, I wasn’t about to resist her. I needed one last time with her in that glass house, just us.

I was fucking doomed when it came to her. She was the only thing I believed in. She was my heaven and hell.

If we were the storm causing each other disaster, I wanted to be the most devastating one. If we could ruin one another, then I figured we’d leave a trail of our destruction neither of us would forget.

I remember the first time with you, taking what was mine, is mine, and will always be mine. Fucking you is all I think about.”

We’d complicated things so much already by sleeping together for so long, because what else does a person do when they’re broken? They find solace in another broken person. Misery loves the miserable.

Roman whispered in my ear, “You gonna miss him?” “Like the deserts miss the rain.”

Jax, on the other hand, moved like molten lava. I knew firsthand how dangerous it was to be in his presence. He warmed everyone he passed, could make them feel alive. And yet, if someone got too close, he’d singe them. He didn’t carry weight on his shoulders, he swallowed it all up and formed it into a power to wield as his own.

From afar, Jax’s presence weakened me. Up close, it just about destroyed me. I tried to ignore the pull to look at him and crossed my arms over my chest. Like a plague, I’d known this greeting was coming and that it had the ability to annihilate me. I’d prepared to just barely make it through, to survive. Instead of getting a quick, polite response from Jax that basically would have amounted to him brushing off the whole greeting like I’d hoped, he stayed silent.

“Well, everyone calls me that now, Jax.” She may not have meant it as an insult but her grouping me in with everyone else felt like a sucker punch to the gut. I wasn’t supposed to be everyone. I was supposed to be the only one.

I started to say something, not sure what, then stuttered to a stop because Jay normally babied me. He didn’t bluntly throw his brother or my past in my face. I stepped back and shrugged. “Yeah. Well, I handled it, and I’m fully capable of handling my own decisions.” He tried to cut in but I held up my hand to stop him. “That includes Rome, Jay.” “And are you fully capable of pulling me off him if he breaks your heart because, Brey, I’ll fucking kill him. Friend of ours or not.”

He wanted the conversation over, and it could be because we’d shared our thoughts on everything before. It was the best and worst thing about having a best friend who knew you better than anyone.

“Because,”—he stood up and started pacing—“I know you.” I blinked at him when he looked at me to respond. He sighed. “This will be your way of getting out of going to my premiere with me.” Before I could make an excuse, he just waved it off. “I want you there, Brey. This is me making it, me being where I want to be, and I want my best friend there.”

“Falling in love sneaks up on you. You don’t stand at the edge and decide to jump. Someone, probably the person you’re about to fall for, pushes you over the edge with a little gesture, a little hint, a subconscious action. Then it’s all over. You’re falling and humans can’t fly. We don’t get a shot to catch ourselves mid fall. I don’t want to fall for you, and you don’t want to fall for me.” “I get it, Rome.” I felt my throat close, my eyes tear up. I swallowed hard. “I know we have to stop.”

Truth was, I knew the damn reason I didn’t want to date other men. I knew the reason to not get involved. I hated the reason and the man.

in the ribs. I dropped my head onto Rome’s shoulder. “These are your people. Not ours. We don’t belong.” Jay’s shoulders bunched a little. “You belong anywhere I am, Brey. Always.”

I lost myself in that rasp, in his songs, and in my love for him. I lost myself altogether when he left.

My lovely friend, Control, smiled at me and waved goodbye. He was skipping happily away, and I felt my breath hitch.

And guess what? We aren’t at fucking Burger King. You can’t have it your way. So, put me the fuck down.”

“Just because I’m here doesn’t mean I want anything to do with you.” The words sounded meek and hollow even to me. He smiled. “I don’t want anything to do with you, either.” My stomach dropped, like it couldn’t handle him throwing back my words. “Doesn’t necessarily mean we get a choice. I think we can agree what we have isn’t healthy.” “We don’t have anything.” “We did, we do, and we always will if we don’t try to work it out together.”

“Just friends?” “What else could we possibly be, Jax?” “Well, once upon a time, we weren’t just friends.” I shouldn’t have goaded her. “Once upon a time is for fairy tales, and that’s not what this is.”

Jax is a bad toxicology report waiting to happen. You were addicted once and the next time you get addicted, you won’t survive it.”

Love was an addiction and overdosing on it left bad toxicology reports, destruction, and fatalities.

He barked out a laugh that overtook him long enough for me to drink him in. Like the first bite of my favorite dessert, pleasure shot all the way through my bloodstream. I’d feel guilty later, but I indulged anyway.

“Sweet Sin,” he harshly whispered, planting his hands on the table as if trying to steady himself. I flinched because I knew what that name signified, what it meant, how much weight it held when he called me by it. “Jax, I wish you’d stop calling me that,” I sighed. He exhaled, and then his intoxicating voice rumbled out, “When I get as close to you as I did a second ago and I’m tempted beyond reason, it’ll always be what I call you.”

He stopped me with a look. “Same goes from years ago, Peaches. Don’t apologize for letting me see you.” His words brought back memories from that day on the lake. I shook my head because I didn’t want him to continue, didn’t want to remember how hard I’d fallen for him that day. Remembering meant this wouldn’t be just us here trying to shake each other from our systems. “It’s still one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen in this world and one of the only things I can’t seem to live without. No matter how fucking hard I try.”

That thought scared me enough to snap my attention to the tea. I took a huge gulp and practically moaned. He’d had Jackie make it, I was sure. The woman was a magician, and chai tea was my favorite even if I wasn’t going to admit it to him. It tasted of memories, sweet and so painful, and I normally avoided it.

“Can’t you give it a rest or find just one girl to be serious with?” “Only girl I’m serious about is you, Sass Pot.”

My heartbeat picked up and that, I told myself, was the reason I had to hold on to the pain we had been through before. If I didn’t, I’d fall headfirst in love with the person who’d made me scared of it in the first place.

“Whitfield,” he growled. Then, he ran his tongue over his teeth and I just knew. “Jax, we should get up,” I whispered. I just knew. He gave me that calculating look and then mumbled, “Fuck it.” I. Just. Knew. His lips crashed down onto mine. As I gasped, he shot his tongue in my mouth, reclaiming it as his like he’d never lost the title. He staked his flag on the territory and not even I could fight the war and win. We weren’t equal opponents here. It was predator meets prey. I couldn’t survive because he’d already ripped me open. He kissed me like he was ravenous, like I was his first meal ever, like he’d consume all of me. I would never be able to outrun him. I wish I could say I shoved him back right away. That I thought about jeopardizing my friendship with Jay or who was waiting for him back in the city. I didn’t. I held onto him for dear life because he might have ripped me open and fed on me like he was ravenous but I needed his kiss just as much. It was the blood in my veins, the oxygen in my lungs, and the water in my body. He tasted like he used to and of so much more than he used to. This was Jax grown-up, primed, and aged perfectly.

“No, I’m not.” Then, I mumbled, “At the moment.” I realized my mistake when he shoved back from the counter, spun around to pace and roared, “She says at the moment. Fuck!” Then his hands were pulling his hair up. “How many times?” I slumped against the counter. “Jax, really?” He whipped back around to pace up to me again. “Yes, really.” “Does it matter?” I whispered. He touched his forehead to mine and searched my eyes as if he could gaze the answer out of me. “Yes, baby, it matters.” “Why?” “Because I need to know how long it's going to take me to erase every time you were with him from your memory.”

“This, Sweet Sin, doesn’t feel like we’re friends. This feels like you’re wet for me.”

“He touches you like he knows every sensitive spot on your body.” “Jax,” I whimpered. “Didn’t you tell him all of those spots are mine?” he asked as he languidly stroked me.

When I thought I couldn’t take anymore, he grabbed my other thigh, wrapped it around his neck, held my ass, and swung me up in the air to the other wall where my back slammed hard against it. His face buried deeper into my core and he ate me out so good, I slammed my head back into the wall over and over again as I came, trying to dispel some of the nuclear orgasmic bomb that exploded within me.

“That’s the thing. I think he meets me toe-to-toe on purpose. He lets me snap at him, but never really takes the bait. I see him testing me, making sure I’m still ready to bite his head off because of what he did to you, and he likes it.” I scrunched up my face, confused. “It sounds stupid, I know, which is why I’ll never repeat this, but I know I’m right. He’s testing me to make sure I’m being your best friend and busting his balls still. And it kinda makes me not hate him.” I felt my eyes widen. She must have seen them too. “Only a little! I only don’t hate him a little!” “What?” I practically yelled. “I know.” She put her hands up to her face. “I still think you should boot his ass out of your life but …” “But what?” Her hands fell to her lap and her eyes bored into mine. “Maybe you should boot him after you give him a shot to make it right.”

It didn’t matter that he probably wasn’t trying to goad me. Didn’t he know that she was mine? Whether she actually was or wasn’t. We owned one another. Our souls were burned together, welded and molded by so much molten emotion that no one—not him, not Jay, not even fucking Frank—could split us up. I knew, because I had tried to split that bond myself.

“Peaches, you follow rules before there are ever any rules that have been made.” The butter knife shook a little in her hand. She kept her head down and said, “I wanted to fuck you in my fuck-buddy’s apartment and then proceeded to spend the night drinking the liquor my homicidal father used to drink. You would be surprised with my lack of rules, L.P.”

“How can you honestly think that what we have is healthy or right?” “I don’t think us being together is any of those things, Peaches.” Her eyes snapped to me. “It’s just inevitable.”

“You’re supposed to be taking it slow, Peaches.” His voice was gravelly, like he was lying next to me, ready. “I could not be taking this anywhere,” I retorted. “Is that why you sound breathless?” I didn't answer. I couldn't.

“We don’t force-feed. If you want it, eat it. If you don’t, leave it.”

When her hands began to slide from the window, I slid my hand from the small of her back all the way to the nape of her neck and leaned in to tell her we weren't finished yet. I was starting to realize we would never be.

“Jax, be logical,” I tried. He stepped up to me so his dress shirt lightly rubbed against my breasts. “Fine. Logically, I'm territorial of you. Even though it was six years ago since you were exclusively mine.” He unbuttoned his shirt standing against me, his knuckles rubbing my torso. I shivered. Then, he pulled the shirt from his shoulders, and I got a look at the expansive, muscled chest I'd spent so many nights laying on so long ago. “Logically, I only want to fuck you even in the midst of fucking someone else …” I gasped at his admission but he kept stripping, unzipping his pants again. “Logically, the idea of you fucking someone even if you are thinking of me makes me see red, Sweet Sin.” He dropped his pants and pushed his body against mine to walk me back into his bed. “Logically, you're mine and I don't share.” “Jax, that's not logical at all.” He hovered over me and smirked. “Are you on birth control, baby?” “Yes, and I'm clean but—” “Minute of ground rules is up.” He plunged into me again.