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The fights Ash and I would have when he and Blaise first started smoking weed together; I was so angry at him for daring to touch it. What if he changed? What if the drugs made him hate me too? What if the violence in him suddenly shifted and became like the violence in Joey?
You thought I wouldn’t recognize the accent, you thought I wouldn’t make sure I knew everything about every last ally of my family? Please. You’re a worthless, poser biker who thinks killing a few men makes you brave. What happened to you as a child broke you and now you’re making it all better with that patch of yours.
I’m not scared. Not with Illi and Aodhan here. Not with Ash and Harley and Blaise only a phone call away. Not while I wear the Wolf of Mounts Bay’s insignia on my body and her love and loyalty in my heart.
Sometimes I guess I need to be reminded that I’m strong by myself but with my family I’m unstoppable.
“Blaise committed murder for Ash as a stupid teenager. Helped him hide a body too, he’d follow Ash into the gates of Hell if I left them both unattended… there’s a reason I was only comfortable leaving them now that Lips is around to rein them in a bit.”
“There’s nothing better than destroying someone’s life, especially if they’ve hurt my family. You should probably know that I’m ruthless by now, Aodhan. There’s not a whole lot that I wouldn’t do to keep my family safe and whole.”
“I have my uncle chained to a chair in the shipping container. I can kill him for you or you can do it for yourself, either way he dies today for what he did to you.”
The integrity and loyalty in Avery Beaumont is second to none and I don’t know what the hell I did to get her attention but I’ll do fucking anything to keep it.
How the fuck someone like her might be interested in someone like me… fucking confusing but I’m not a man to let a good thing go and she might just be the fucking best thing.
“If you get blood on me, I will murder you in your sleep, O’Cronin. The Wolf isn’t the only one hiding in the shadows,” she murmurs with that same playful smirk.
“You can kill me anytime, Queenie, you know that.”
Tell him I want the fingers. It’ll be a good companion to Annabelle’s hand.
“Lips is being gross; she wants his trigger fingers, and she wants him to feel them come off. Apparently bolt cutters are the most efficient method of removal, do we have any spare or should I call Illi?”
I just need to know he got the job done. “He’s definitely dead? Where are the fingers? If you say you have them on you, I’m probably going to need at least a month before you attempt to touch me again. How do you feel about sitting in a bathtub of bleach for an hour or so?”
I’m confident enough in myself and the value I bring to any table to admit that. I don’t need to kill things just to stay relevant and keep my place as the Queen Aodhan and Illi keep insisting I am.
“I know, Queenie. Whoever is doing this is fucking stalking you and I’m not gonna let that shit fly. I’ll check over that mansion of yours and then I’ll go hunting. There’re a few leads I can try and I’m sure Illi will have an idea of where to go next. Have you told the Wolf about this yet?”
I want to forget I’m supposed to be quiet. I want to come so hard everyone knows it’s happening. I want to feel that smug sort of satisfaction that you get when you’re wanted and loved and worshiped by the person you’re with.
I fucking miss Lips. No one makes my coffee like she does.
If only he knew about the pussy in the family who walked into the Game and killed her way into the Twelve. Who became the most infamous assassin the Bay had ever seen, the fear she strikes into the hearts of any Mounty looking into the shadows at night. If only he knew about how she took on the Jackal and Senior and walked out of it alive.
It looks as though Colt Graves won’t just live, he’ll find his own way into the family. There’s no way that Lips won’t seek him out knowing what he’s willing to do for Poe, no way that she’d ever let him deal with his father without her support, and honestly? It’s only taken one conversation for me to feel the same way about him. He’s not only got a soul but a soft spot for Poe… I wonder what Nate would do if he knew? If he knew just how far Colt would go to protect his little sister?
The Wolf will take care of this one for us. You know as well as I do that she’s the right choice for this one.” Colt stares at us both in shock from the back, finally croaking out, “What’s this gonna cost me?” Illi shrugs. “Nothing. The Wolf doesn’t take cash. You’ll owe her a favor.”
Kudos to Ash, I’ll have to buy him something nice for treating our Mounty so well. He’s been eyeing the newest Ferrari, that’ll do.
I tell her about the little game her sperm donor has made around Posey. “Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck. Fuck! Nate’s gonna lose his shit.” I hum under my breath. “Yeah, he will. If he doesn’t already know, he’s got pretty close tabs on her, doesn’t he?”
“No, nothing has actually happened but it’s like we’re all holding our breaths waiting for the bus to fucking blow up or something. Like, we can’t possibly be lucky enough to be alive and happy. It’s just… weird.”
“Okay. Okay, I’m definitely alone and I promise I’ll hear you out. I also promise I won’t order a hit because from the sounds of it, I’ll be coming home to do the killing myself.” It’s sweet and blood-soaked and entirely a Lips thing to say.
And then I tell her everything. I tell her exactly what happened in the Jackal’s lair, I tell her about Luca finding us there and keeping my secret, I tell her about the deep ache in my chest that I still feel for Atticus but there are butterflies that Aodhan has somehow freed deep in my gut, and the way that I’m now desperate for them both to love me.
Even now that he’s been affectionate with me, I’ve had this awful feeling in the back of my mind that all of this is some joke on me… like I’d never actually get to have someone that loves me for me.
“Aves, if he still wanted you after you and Atticus fucked at the gala then I think it’s safe to say that he wants you.
“Avery, it sounds bad because it’s not what happened. You gave something up to save him, he could have argued with you, he could have said no.”
Dinner smells good, did you go with steaks or are we having lobster? Harley always fucking brags about your stew, if you made that I might move the hell in.” I roll my eyes at him but he just keeps on grinning, swooping down to kiss me.
“What I think… about you? Queenie, I’m not sure where I’ve been vague about what I think of you.”
Heads up, don’t fucking talk about yourself like that around me or we’re gonna have problems. Big ones because you, Beaumont, are fucking perfect. The type of woman any man would crawl through glass on his knees every damn day to get the chance to be with and I won’t fucking hear you talking shit about yourself like that. Not at all, so just fucking don’t.”
“I was saying no because why would someone like you wanna fuck a Mounty like me? Fucking you wasn’t the problem, in any other situation I would’ve been a hundred percent down for that, Queenie, but you were fucking terrified. You were hurt and needed help, and you still did what you could for me the second you saw that guy die from the collar. If you think any of my anger at what happened is directed at you… no. Fuck no. I’m pissed you were a virgin and had no choices. You’re the one who was assaulted.”
I went there to help you and if dying for you did that then I’d go to the grave without a fucking complaint. What else do I have to say to you for you to understand that I’m not going anywhere? I’ve watched you march into every fight with your family with your head held high and your little arsenal of tricks and I knew that you’re it for me. Sometimes, you just know these things and, Queenie, I’m not fucking this up, no matter how hard you push.”
It’s the necklace Lips gave me for Christmas, the little platinum cage with the blue diamond in there except now there’s another diamond in there with it. Dark, brilliant green that’s the same shade as his eyes.
“You chewed me out for going back in there and getting shot, remember? I couldn’t leave the necklace behind… after what happened; I couldn’t have you lose that too.”
I’m not giving out favors… except that one. Just for you, Queenie.”
I want there to be no doubts about this man being taken; I’ve had enough of other women messing around with what’s mine.
“Maybe I want rough. Maybe I want you to need me so badly you forget to treat me right.”
“You want rough because you think if I’m treating you right that I’m coddling you which I’m definitely not. You’re Avery Beaumont, Queen of the Bay and the Wolf’s most trusted friend. I’m treating you like the best fucking thing that ever happened to me because you are. Now climb that perfect ass of yours up onto that bed and spread your legs, show me what I want dripping down my chin.”
He came for me when he didn’t have to. He wanted to die for me, not once has he blamed me for any of the choices I’ve been forced to make, and every step of the way he’s trusted me to make the right moves against our enemies. He’s protected me without locking me in a tower and throwing away the key. He wants me for more than my money or my connections. He wants me, I’m sure of it.
“They didn’t. The scholarship student I’d spent the entire year terrorizing did. See, my psychotic older brother had become obsessed with her and no matter what I did, this girl wouldn’t drop out. I threw everything I had at her and she just dodged it all. Or endured it, the stuff that Joey did to her… she just kept going. She was the last person I would have expected to help me but she didn’t hesitate. Not once. She took him to the ground and knocked him out like she was some sort of trained killer… we’ve been best friends ever since and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.”
“The Wolf and the Queen, Mounts Bay doesn’t stand a chance.”
His fingers trail up to my necklace and he pulls back to look at it again where it hangs on my naked chest. “There’s room in there for another diamond you know. If he ever gets his head out of his ass.”
“I’m not giving you up for fucking anything, Queenie. Nothing would make me let you go… but if you want him as well, then I can live with that. I want your heart to be whole, not torn in half.”
“I’ve watched Harley share for months… he doesn’t look like he’s suffering. I think he found someone worth it and, Aves, you’re fucking worth it. If Atticus doesn’t see it that way then that’s his loss.”
If anything, I’m impressed that Amanda really wants to worry me this much. To bring me down here means that she knows that her snide comments and flirting mean nothing to me and now she’s pulling out the bigger tricks that she’s hidden up her sleeves.
I send Lips a text and for the first time since they left, I ask her to come home. I immediately text her again and tell her not to, because if she comes home then so will Ash and also for the first time, I’m pissed my best friend is dating my brother because I need her, but I can’t risk him coming home and seeing something.
She texts me back and those five little words give me the strength to get up, take a shower, and be the woman I need to be to face Atticus right now because the Wolf of Mounts Bay has never let me down, not once in our entire friendship. I’ve called in a favor.
This isn’t about the sex, Atticus. I think I’m ready to walk away from you if this continues because I’m not going to be treated like this… not even by you.”
