It was also important that they understood the “race car brain with bicycle brakes” model of ADHD, because it is accurate but not shaming. It allowed Samuel to aspire to become a champion if he worked on his brakes, but it reminded him that there was work to be done. The key here was to use the model consistently. Instead of saying “You’re a bad boy!” or “Shape up!” Lily said, “Your brakes are failing you.” She still intervened, making it clear that certain behaviors needed to stop or change, but she did not do this via shame. This is critical to the long-term growth and success of the child.
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