I Would Leave Me If I Could: A Collection of Poetry

by Halsey

I so badly want to be liked. Scratch that. I want to be loved. I want her to love me. Scratch that. I want her to leave. I want her to scratch that. Scratch that itchy itch of my swollen brain.

I can’t carry all this weight, so I must put it somewhere and somewhere is with you. You will take good care of it?

I can hold a grudge like it’s a hand.

Girls who weren’t sad and tired. Girls better than me. Who had learned to turn their trauma into adventures for him to stumble blindly through. Instead of wallowing in their brokenness and breaking everything in their path as penance.

There’s a love/hate relationship with noise in my brain. Except for when you speak my name.

I could fall asleep here. Crawl inside the sleeping bags under your eyes. But I stay awake to memorize.

I am not allowed to want to die anymore. Believe me, I have tried.

We met in a studio and I couldn’t break the silence ’cause he was raised a Socialist and I was raised on violence.

Tell me nothing changes when you leave me But I been making changes, please believe me.

TELLTALE I think it’s for the best if I should open up my chest and mail the contents to your hotel room to wake you while you rest.

I’ll cut my hair and dye it red, and hope you get it through your head that I’m in love and it’s bleeding through my skull,

I only use my armor when you frighten me. Stuck in the middle of “I love you” and “I can’t take this anymore.”

SOMETHING FOR THEM This is to remind you that you are a lover. That you melt at a glance at a touch. That you are a baby. You are soft and fragile and you need someone to tell you that everything is going to be okay. That you are an idiot and you are going to fuck up 1 million more times the rest of your life. But this is to remind you that you are a statue, gilded in marble, and there is white lightning in your eyes. Change shape. Give in.