I Would Leave Me If I Could: A Collection of Poetry

by Halsey

And it was on my first day on Earth that I realized I didn’t measure up, and I never would.

’Cause I won’t love a man Unless he is angry Because of my father.

Girls who weren’t sad and tired. Girls better than me. Who had learned to turn their trauma into adventures for him to stumble blindly through. Instead of wallowing in their brokenness and breaking everything in their path as penance.

Been biting my tongue till it bleeds cry over things I don’t need. My mother told me pick your battles wisely but you made me angry at the world so I chose them all.

I remember all the chaos. The frantic, nervous sounds. I don’t remember much, though, once I hit the ground. Everything went black. Everything got cold. I’m standing on a sidewalk, screaming, “Over my dead body!”

A hostage situation. I know I should, but I can’t leave you all alone somewhere. I know you don’t, but I still care.

I don’t hope that you’d die; just live to 75 And you spend every waking moment Wishing you felt alive.

I hope every girl unites and they decide you’re a joke But if they are anything like you then I know that they won’t ’Cause their self-esteem levels are fatally low.

Hope another year passes and you hurt even more than I do.

You said you’d always love me from my head to my toes And then All at once you loved me to a little death.

I am not allowed to want to die anymore. Believe me, I have tried.

I got this bad habit where I don’t think before I speak. I fall in love like every week. I keep a pistol when I sleep inside my mouth so I don’t fight my tongue for saying all these things, like how I saw you in my dreams.

Does a ghost know that he’s a ghost? Does a saint know that she’s forgiven? If no one knows, then I don’t know if I might be the villain. I don’t trust the author anymore.

Stuck in the middle of “I love you” and “I can’t take this anymore.”

“Swallow your apologies. None of them mean shit to me. And all you have these days are bad days.”

I won’t take anyone down If I crawl tonight But I still let everyone down When I change in size And I went tumbling down Trying to reach your height But I scream too loud If I speak my mind.