One Two Three

by Laurie Frankel

“I like labels because they mean organized and order and control and correct.”

“Sometimes they do. And sometimes they just give you the illusion of those things. Giving something a label and putting it in a box makes you feel like you’ve understood it and accounted for it and can keep track of it, and that’s great for things like paperwork or books, but sometimes things get mislabeled or misfiled, and then they get misunderstood or misaccounted for.”

not everything that looks broken actually is.

My AAC—Augmentative and Alternative Communication device—used to require a whole high-tech speech-generating big to-do. Now it’s an app on my tablet and Tom-tweaked speakers that go wherever I do. With my perfect right hand, I can type something in, and my Voice reads it aloud. Or, because typing is slow, I can speak with symbols. Touch the Food folder and a list of things I might want to eat pops up, and I can say to my mother, or really anyone, “Ice cream please.” Touch the Daily Life folder, and a few strokes later I can say that I’m tired and ready for bed. Touch the Let’s Talk folder and I can say, “Fine thank you” or “How is your day today?” Touch the Frequently Used Phrases button, and I can say, “Monday! Shut up about yellow things!” It’s smart, predictive, so it’s learned my speech patterns, which words most frequently follow which, how teenage girls talk, how I am different from most teenage girls.

There are two kinds of people in this world. People who can expect to, strive to, feel entitled to be happy. And people who cannot.

“Because you want to go home?” I ask, for I have learned that home is not just where you live. Home is also where you want and need and are meant to live. Home is also the people who are there with you, who are the people who will help you live, who are the people who will do the best they can, not just for themselves, but for you, their neighbors and friends, as well.

It is not enough to be loved by your mother. It is a good start, and you wouldn’t want to do without, and it helps, but it is not enough. You need also the love of your community, the love of friends and admirers, the love of strangers who don’t know you but still wish you well, the love that comes from passion and from commitment and from someone who will never, never betray you and not just because they’re related to you. You need more love. We all need more love. And here—in this town, in this body—love is abundant but it is not sufficient. It is not enough.