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I figured if we were smuggling guns across that many state lines I should let a white boy drive—they’re good like that.
Abandoned buildings are like abandoned people—they die sooner.
“I’ve never wanted to be a star in the sky. They all die anyway and I’m too vain for death.
The silence was deafening but that wasn’t the only cliché present in the room.
One boyfriend was this white top who had a big-ass dick, and thank god he was hung because he was dumb as fuck.
What was once a big beautiful star has collapsed in on its own weight and turned into a black hole.
I had fucked enough boys with Catholic damage to know that if he’s wearing a crucifix, he’s definitely a ho.
Time with him always seemed queered and distorted. A day with him seemed like both an hour and a lifetime. That’s the type of love we had.
I had fucks left to give, of course, just not this week, and perhaps even the next.
He is a horrible white person and I wish death upon him—
This too shall pass, though I am not leaving the bed again today, and perhaps not tomorrow.
Heaven help me, I stayed because I am nothing if not the worst mix of willfully nonjudgmental and horny.
The second and third time you fail is always worse; there’s the voice that asks, “Am I really choosing to be this person?”
I myself am lots of things—petty, jealous, a danger if provoked, certainly sensitive—but not fragile. I could fuck a crocodile and I could survive an atom bomb.
“I’m Nigerian, but spent half my life in London,” he explained. “What part of Africa are you from?” he asked. “Alabama,” I replied. He didn’t laugh. In my head I rolled my eyes the same way I always do when African-born Blacks ask that question—like, how the fuck is that a real question?
He remembered that his body still had one valuable gift: it was available.
I had been to a Black rock festival last summer where the moneyed Blacks mutually congratulated one another for their obsession with anime and all their bands sounded like nineties death metal.
In a world where white rappers were winning and I was decidedly not, I did the only thing a person in my situation can do in America—I fucked a white dude to get ahead.
