Grayscale: A Memoir of an Introverted Leader

by Mohamed Fadel

“Practiced Improvisation.” I would put a timer on for ten minutes—the time allotted for my speech—and I’d improvise within the boundaries of my bullet points. I would do it once, twice, thrice, and I would keep taking mental notes of phrases or statements I liked. I never took physical notes unless it was a figure or a statistic I wanted to remember, but nothing else that could potentially confuse me.

The right opportunities will find their way to you when the time is right.

“We evaluate the quality of meals, movies, and

vacations, not by the full experience, but by certain moments, especially at the end. We usually convey our reaction to the conclusion.”

I’ve had no opportunities throughout my year for external exposure to other AIESEC national entities, which is a significant part of the job description.

5. I am unknown to both the Egyptian and the global AIESEC network since I’ve been in internal roles and I have not interacted much accordingly. As a result, no one really knows who I am.

I didn’t want to be overlooked this time. I realized I needed to be memorable and to do that I needed to catch their attention and captivate them with the first word I uttered.

I always found, at least for myself, that an election process was usually defined by how you kicked it off.

when something that is known remains unsaid, more trouble finds its way to the surface.

Jim Collins’s Good to Great and Salim Ismail’s Exponential Organizations.

life, each person who is in a specific stage of their existence goes through an entirely different experience than others who precede them, are with them, and come after them—be

AIESEC triggers all three elements of intrinsic motivation: autonomy, mastery, and purpose.

AIESEC allows members to act with choice while being happily independent of others.

The Sawyer Effect. As Daniel H. Pink describes it in his book Drive, when you’re doing something for someone else, it becomes work. When you’re doing that same thing for yourself, it becomes play; which yields joy.

Empathy, I learned, is not the job of a leader, alone. It needs to be reciprocated by both parties. Empathy is a two-way street. It is not a sign of leadership, but a sign of being human.

shot. You’ve come this far, why quit now?”

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

acknowledged that my chances were slim, and so I had lowered my expectations. It was somewhat of a losing mentality, but as I went through the process, it changed. I realized that I desired it; I wanted the role. Badly. Yet, standing there in the final seconds right before the announcement, I had made my peace—Whatever the result, it’s what’s best for me and AIESEC.

FYI—For Your Improvement

I learned that no matter how many tests, challenges, and interviews you put people through, and even with an intense process of reading into people from different angles and perspectives, people are still people. People adapt to contexts. Accordingly, you cannot predict with 100% certainty that you’ve made the perfect choice. Yet, you can always do your best to elevate your team and support them in their growth process by understanding that they—just like you—are only human.

Sadly, sometimes leaders get distracted by the short-term battles and seek those wins, thinking they can balance them out alongside the long-term ones.

The moment you lose the title and another has it, you realize that the title was the real hero in the story. It possessed the superpowers and people’s love and admiration, not you.

I believe that even if the title possesses the power, it’s all about how you hold the crown and play the game. That is what really matters. If you play your cards right, then you’re worthy of the title and your time as its holder will be memorable enough not to be forgotten after you are dethroned. If you don’t, then you’re just another commoner.

To be remembered beyond a title, you need to do things that, as Seth Godin explains, are remarkable. You’ve got to embrace being a purple cow, stand out and be worthy of notice.

Your people are a reflection of you; they mirror your emotions and act accordingly. Be the joyful bowl of sunshine, and more often than not, it’ll be reciprocated; be the contrary, and that will also reflect.

“When do you know that it’s time?” I asked. “Time to give up on someone, I mean.” Simon put his fork and knife down and then went on what seemed like a reflective inner journey of thought before declaring, “When you know, you know. There’s no science to it, it’s a gut feeling. You gotta trust it.”

A feeling of loneliness will not make them immobile; they will still get things done and perform, but loneliness is a silent killer.

An unclear direction is one of the most fatal mistakes a leader can make;

that’s what you get with AIESEC: short snippets of leadership.

With the frequent turnover that AIESEC imposes, it’s a catastrophe if the learnings from the previous years are not carried forward and improved upon in the successive ones.

Every individual is accountable for their own experience; it is yours to shape and mold in the way you see fit.

If someone’s experience did not turn out the way it should be, it’s the fault of their leader and themselves. They have both failed one another.

I attached my self-worth to the work I’d done in the better part of the past decade. So, to be led to believe that it wouldn’t hold up out there in the real world—and that the world I’d been living in was a bubble in comparison—felt like my whole self was being ambushed, pinned to the ground, and not given a chance to fight back.

“There are two types of time in our lives: dead time, when people are passive and waiting, and alive time, when people are learning and acting and utilizing every second. Every moment of failure, every moment or situation that we did not deliberately choose or control, presents this choice: Alive time. Dead time."

my life holds a lot more value than I assign to it, and so does every life if done right.

An experience is not a failure—some of its parts might be but never as a whole. An experience is the combination of many different experiences lumped into one and to assess it, it’s only fair to break it down into its forming pieces before judging. It’s not black and white, it never is; you just need to look for the grays.

I’m grateful for all that has been and all that is yet to come. For it is all nothing but a brushstroke in the very elaborate yet beautiful portrait that is the life of every single one of us.

Surrendering to complacency is just a way to drown yourself in a deeper pit of shame out of which you will have to escape at some point.

I am aware that there can often be a very thin line between knowing one’s self-worth and narcissism, but you’ve got to trust your instincts and believe in what you possess and what you’re owed.