The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution

by Carl R. Trueman

Within such a framework, the relationship between a husband and wife is unique precisely because it is the only relationship they each have that is marked, or sealed, by sexual intimacy. And that sexual intimacy therefore possesses significance because of its ongoing context. It is the one thing that makes the friendship of a husband and wife unique compared to any of the other relationships and any of the other interpersonal narratives that shape their identities. The traditional Anglican wedding vows—for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death us do part—bear witness to this distinguishing quality. The sexual encounters between a husband and wife find their deeper meaning not in the personal pleasure of the moment but in the way those encounters are intended to strengthen and reinforce the unique relationship that exists between the two partners, one shaped by a shared past and present and open to a shared future. Again, pornography, with its message that sex is about personal satisfaction, focuses on the pleasure of the present moment, without reference to past or future. It promotes a view of sex as being the activity of the sempiternal orgiast, the one who lives for sexual pleasure in the here and now with no thought about the future. It presents a view of sex whereby the participants move effortlessly from one encounter in the present to the next without any significant consequences. In this sense, it is continuous with the countless movie, soap ope...

Sex in marriage vs trivialized, pornified sex