The Seat Filler

by Sariah Wilson

“So, you’re saying I shouldn’t put my butt in Chris Evans’s face when I scoot past him? That just seems like a missed opportunity.”

“Is that a Snickers bar? What if I had a peanut allergy?” he asked. “Then you’d be dead and we’d both be happy?”

“You know, when I said that thing about women falling at my feet, I didn’t mean for it to be an invitation.”

If you don’t want us to love the villains and root for their redemption, then why do you give them soulful eyes, muscled chests, disheveled hair, and heartbreaking backstories? I’m just not that strong.”

I think you should go with the flow. See where the universe takes you.” “That’s not really my thing. I’m more of a violently-struggle-against-the-flow type of person.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without chocolate.” “My guess is twenty-five to life.”

“No. Nobody hurt me. I was the one committing face felonies with my teeth blades.”

“Do you want to get appetizers? The oysters here are pretty good.” “Oysters are disgusting. They look like somebody already ate them. They’re basically sea vomit.” “The ones here are fried.” “I’m not interested in fried ocean puke,”