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July 31 - August 4, 2023
“What matters is that I choose her,” Casteel spoke, and my stupid, stupid heart skipped a beat, even though I did not choose him. “And that is all that matters.”
“There is no side of you that is not as beautiful as the other half. Not a single inch isn’t stunning.”
“But he’s the one thing in all the kingdoms that you, and only you, never have to fear.”
My heart hurt deeply, as if I were grieving someone who had died. In a way, it was like that. I mourned the loss of Hawke, and it didn’t matter that he still lived and breathed.
That he wasn’t a good man, but that he was trying to be one. I thought of the shame I had felt inside him. He was both the villain and the hero, the monster and the monster-slayer.
What a pretty little flower. What a pretty poppy. Pick it and watch it bleed. Not so pretty any longer… Poppy.
“So, I know all about how the past doesn’t remain where it should. How it likes to pay visits when you’re at your weakest. There is never a need to apologize, nor should you ever feel shame.”
“I survived because I refused to ever be helpless again. That kept me from caving to the fear.
“You’re beautiful when you’re quiet and somber, but when you laugh? You rival the sunrise over the Skotos Mountains.”
We are a kingdom of fire.”
“Ah, yes, you did take her.” Alastir inclined his chin. “But do you really intend to keep her?”
AHHHHHHH
But that is my future you are walking away with. Guard her well. Your life depends on it.”
I just…I didn’t want to be helpless like that again, and so many people, especially women, never have the opportunity to learn how to protect themselves. They have to rely on others—on
“For choosing me.”
“Please don’t die,” Kieran commented from where he sat. “Casteel would be most displeased.”
“Every myth is rooted in some fact,”
“You are protected with me, and you’ll never be alone,”
“But you’re right. I wouldn’t allow that, because I refuse to carve your name into the wall down below.”
GAH
“And here I thought I would make this grand entrance, rescuing you. I’m not sure you needed rescuing.”
“Curiosity is a sign of intelligence.”
“Your scars are beautiful,”
“That even though they still slumber, they are signaling that a great change is coming.”
“You waking up uninjured was more pressing than a vague, rather unhelpful message from the gods,”
Pain is the biggest obstacle healing faces,
“I always keep what is mine safe,”
“I don’t belong to anyone but myself. Nothing changes that.”
I didn’t offer Casteel a piece of me as we rode forward, joining the others. There was no reason to because what he didn’t know was that he already held too many of them.
