fast

by Millie Belizaire

Sometimes you can fool yourself into thinking you’re “over” something. Then you catch yourself saying things, doing things, avoiding things, realizing you never truly got over anything. You just set new boundaries so that the same thing couldn’t happen to you twice. Time doesn’t heal most wounds. If you’re lucky, time distracts you long enough so that you can forget.

In life, there are certain things that you just need. I needed food to eat. I needed air to breathe. I needed water to drink. And I needed Caprice.

How ever much he desired me, I knew he would never take anything I wasn’t willing to give. With him, I was safe.

“I loved you,” I told him. “You did.” “You were the only person who ever really made me feel safe.” “I remember.” “I made a mistake.” “I know.” “I should’ve come back for you.” “You should’ve.” “Leaving you behind like that was so unnecessary.” “Maybe.” “I didn’t deserve you.” Shaun paused, for a moment just looking at me with such a meaningful intensity. Quiet as a whisper, he said the words, “I disagree.”