What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat

by Aubrey Gordon

But that’s just one form that the well-intentioned bullying of concern trolling takes in the lives of fat people. Concern trolls are shapeshifters, changing their arguments and excuses to evade both accountability and direct conversations. Concern trolls talk about tough love as they withhold food, clothing, affirmation, love in the name of pressuring a fat person into thinness. They imagine our bodies as coal and that their pressure will make us diamonds. Concern trolls lament our size, offering compliments only with judgmental caveats attached. You’ve got such a pretty face. If only you’d lose some weight. Their eyes follow our fork from our plate to our mouth and back again, sometimes even freely commenting on what we eat, whether we eat, and how much. When challenged, many become defensive, even indignant. I’m just trying to help. Food surveillance and policing are especially insidious and pernicious tactics of many concern trolls.