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It’s also the moment I realize my best friend is in a very dark place. I no longer take sides. I no longer act in defense. I’m going to hold her hand, walk along this dark path, and remind her that no matter what happens in the end, I’ll forever be by her side.
Adriana walked beside me, holding onto my body. Before we stepped outside, she hugged me tight, much to the bemusement of my father. “Have faith, big brother. The right place and the right time, she’ll be yours again,” she whispered.
Her face looks slightly different, perhaps tired. There’s no smile, no spark in her eyes, no glow to her skin, and she appears gaunt. The light inside her has gone out.
Quieres lastimarme por lo que te hice, Charlotte? Bueno, has ganado. Para citarlo, he terminado. You want to hurt me for what I did to you, Charlotte? Well, you’ve won. To quote you, I’m done”.
This time, I’ll make sure Charlotte and I are completely done. You want to hurt me for what I did to you, Charlotte? Well, you’ve won. To quote you, “I’m done.”
With my head hanging in shame from my careless behavior and pain I’ve caused everyone, I raise my hand and hail a cab to head home. No good will come from my company tonight. And once again, the darkness has found me.
She didn’t ask why nor attack me with questions. If anyone knew me better than I knew myself, it was my sister. And with her by my side, I knew I’d find Charlotte… again.
They say if you love someone, you’re supposed to set them free. What if it’s the other way around? They set you free. Am I supposed to fly back? Or am I supposed to leave it up to fate? There’s a high chance fate isn’t on my side, my wings having been clipped, and without them I can’t soar.
the fear sets in. I can’t be a mother. I’m not able to carry this baby inside me nor do this all alone.
We’re your family. Even when you have lost hope and think you’re walking through this pain alone, remember, we are here for you no matter what you decide.”
The confidence I usually carry with me is shattered.
with him?” “Oh no, nothing like that. It’s just that I’ve never been with a real man, you know? I mean he’s thirty-one, and I’m twenty-two. The guys my age can’t find a G-spot if you handed them a GPS and a tour guide.”
“You’re a grown man. What you do with your life is your decision.” Laughter erupts inside my head. The hypocrisy, years later, from a man who controlled my life when I needed to make it out on my own. Now it’s my decision? How very parental of him.
He grins foolishly. After thirty fucking something years together, he’s still in love. I should be praising him, but knowing Mom is on the other end probably sending him dirty texts is enough to make me shudder.
fall on my knees beside her, hold onto her hand, placing it against my mouth. The smell of her skin is enough for me to break down inside. I miss her like fucking crazy, and now she’s carrying my baby. Charlotte is carrying my baby. “Why didn’t you tell me about the baby?”
There’s no strength or will left in me, no fight. I’m defeated, beaten down, a shadow of my former self. This journey is no longer one I want to take. I love him more than I even love myself.
That’s the last thing I remember before I pass out, slumped in the alleyway against some old crates. God knows how much later as I take in my surroundings, I know that someone is watching over me. I’m alive.
I know the answer and fuck the fucking universe with all its fate and destiny bullshit. If I want something to happen, I’ll make it happen—no matter what it takes. She was mine all along, and once again, I, Alexander Edwards, vow not to stop, not until she’s mine again.
I need to be in the right frame of mind to handle any hurt or rejection he might inflict upon me. He is a guy, after all, and his natural reaction would be to fuck everything in sight and forget about me, the super-bitch who’s knocked up with another man’s baby.
There’s no tomorrow without him. Alexander Edwards will forever be the only man to capture my heart. And I refuse to live life any other way.
“They say love is a noble act of self-giving, offering trust, faith, and loyalty. The more you love, the more you lose a part of yourself, yet you don’t become less of who you are, you end up being complete with your loved one.
Love like there is no tomorrow, live like today is the end, and have faith that tomorrow will come. Sometimes we are given the easy road, sometimes the most challenging, but if we can end up being as happy as both of you today, then any road taken is well worth the journey.”
memorize his words, every single thing he said. He said… It was a challenging road. But well worth the journey. And to love like there’s no tomorrow. Live like today is the end.
Momma, you have sacrificed so much for me, and you gave me the strength to follow my dreams. Your love and support will forever be the reason why I am the man I am today. To my poppa, I know you are looking down on us, and as we take a moment to look up at you, just know that I love you and can feel your presence with us. You didn’t miss out, Poppa… you’re right here.”
Lex Edwards deserves the world, and I must give him that and everything beyond. No more lies. No more hiding the pain. The truth needs to be told. “Lex… this is your baby.” With his hands dropping to his sides, he steps back with an incredulous stare. In silence, he searches my face until his eyes become glassy, and a small smile plays on his lips. “M-My baby?” he stammers.
Mrs. Edwards. Mrs. Edwards—the name is like music to my ears.
We knew this day would come. What lies inside this envelope does not define who you are.” I took her words in—she was right. No matter what happened, I would do what I wanted to do,
My silence masks the turmoil overcoming me. How the fuck could I have done this to her? Out of all the people in my life, I love her more than life itself. Yet, I pushed her into this nightmare, leaving her scarred forever. “I remembered the day it all finally came crashing down, the darkest day of my life, and the day I screamed your name hoping that somewhere you would hear me and pull me out into the light.”
This woman had always been this monumental figure in my life, but it wasn’t until the end, until the very end that she became my life. She had become my best friend.
This woman was more of a mother to me than my own. She nurtured and loved me unconditionally despite the mistakes I had made. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn’t I see the signs she was ill?
Alexander Mason Edwards Sleep my baby angel, always and forever in my heart.
“The needle… to answer the question that you asked me, it felt like nothing, not compared to what I had been through.”
“Necesito que te pierdes en mí, tengo que sentir lo mucho que me quieres. Muéstrame lo mucho que me quieres, sólo a mí. I need you to lose yourself in me, I need to feel how much you love me. Show me how much you love me, only me.”
this right now, this is what I’ve dreamed about since the moment we ran into each other in my parents’ kitchen. I’m so happy right now it actually fucking hurts because I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m obsessed with you, every part of you. You are my addiction, but one I never want to stop.”
Seriously, though, how long before I become a virgin again?” “I don’t know… a year? Can we google this?”
I don’t want money to dictate our life. If you want me, then you need to learn to consult with me about things like this.
“Just happy to be home.” For the first time in my life, I find it—not a place but a person to call home.
I’m not the type of girl who has her wedding all planned out since I was five, nor do I go to sleep at night imagining the dress I will wear.
The three men are dressed only in black leather thongs, dog collars, and leather masks. Please don’t tell me they are doms. It’s fun reading about them in erotic fiction, but standing only a few feet away from us makes me extremely uncomfortable.
I feel like a broken record. My money is our money now.” “Yeah, and I sound like a CD with a scratch. I’m not ready to accept that. Give me time.”
the blades slicing me slowly. The cuts are deep, they are starting to bleed. Inside, I’m screaming, the pain so unbearable and the heat, the burning sensation is crawling throughout my skin until finally the doors close behind her, and I’m left with nothing.
Love never dies,
It may move onto a place that you can’t see but believe me when I promise you that it’s all around you. It will never stop, and when you feel alone, I want you to know that my love will forever embrace you.
my love, promise me that you will continue life with our son. Give him every opportunity that he deserves. Let him grow into a fine, honorable man. Let him find his own path and understand the unity of a family.
The tornado of grief sweeps her away, and much to my sadness, it takes Lex along with her.
grief insurmountable, and not once did she speak nor did she shed a tear. She was catatonic. It frightened me that the once-bright future ahead was now unknown. I prayed every night she would pull out of this coma. I couldn’t lose my sister. She’s my blood, my family, and I wanted to shield her from the pain.
She lingers, and I know I can have her right there, all of her, but those tortured voices in my head tell me to back off. If I give in now, the pain will be much worse later. I don’t want to feel pain. I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want to love her. Words hurt, sometimes more than sticks and stones. And tonight, I speak those words.
“Marriage is never easy… you’ve got to work hard all the time. We make mistakes, sometimes we hurt, but with the right love, it will burn into your soul forever.”
Just like always, they blanket me with love and warmth, but still, there’s a part of me that’s scared to allow him access to all of my heart if the only purpose is to break me until there’s nothing left. You have to learn to trust him, Charlie. Love will never survive without it. “If I have to spend my entire life earning your forgiveness, I will do just that. I can’t… we can’t be apart. I cannot let you go.”
“I don’t want you to let me go. We promised it was ride or die. I’m standing here, breathing, alive, and want to give our family a second chance to become one again.”
