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“Well, then, get down on your knees and suck the fucking cum out of it because I swear to God, Charlotte, it will only ever belong to you. And for the record, people in white-picket-fence houses don’t fuck like we do.”
“You ordered green tea? Maybe that’s why you’re in the doghouse for being such a pussy.”
“Um, Nik, there’s a hell of a lot of dick in here,” I complain. “Woman, please, there can never be enough dick in here, at least for now. Here’s to the best bachelorette party ever.”
“Charlotte Olivia Mason, I promise to cherish you and love you unconditionally for the rest of our lives. I vow every breath I take and every beat of my heart belongs to you and only you.” I slide the ring on her finger, once again kissing it before it’s her turn to speak. “Alexander Matthew Edwards, I take you to be my constant friend and my loving partner. I promise to be faithful and devote myself to you, only you and our marriage. I give you my hand, my heart, and the air I breathe for as long as we both shall live.”
Shake it off,
I take out my phone, snapping photographs of Big Ben as we drive past. It reminds of the Griswolds’ futile attempt to exit the giant roundabout which, in turn, makes me laugh out loud.
Fuck me sideways, backward, and forward. This man knows how to dress, and vest porn is where it’s at.
“Why do you have to be so stubborn all the time? Take the fucking card. I feel like a broken record. My money is our money now.”
Don’t listen to Roxy, let it go, and move on. Christ, that Roxy makes Pamela Anderson look like a virgin.”
“The cancer is back.” I place my steaming hot coffee down with a slight tremble, trying to figure out if I heard him right. His deadly silence indicates I did. “How? And where?” He pauses then states, “Prostate, again. I was told it was contained, and the chemo worked, but my test last week shows abnormal cells, and well, it’s back.”
Doctors and nurses come in and out of the room, their words all lost on me. Lex, on the other hand, asks questions in his medical jargon, the doctors surprised with his knowledge. When they leave, he talks to me, but I’m scared to listen. The fear of losing our baby is ripping me apart.
“Sweet baby girl… everything will be okay… hush baby girl.” My body jerks, and my eyes open rapidly. The voice… It’s my grandmother.
At exactly 2:46 a.m., Amelia Grace Edwards is born. Her tiny screams echo through the operating room causing everyone to cheer. Around me, the hospital staff is hovering, and the nurse takes away the baby as they clean her up. It feels like hours later when Lex walks over to me, his face beaming with pride as he places our daughter against my face. “Say hello to Mommy.” The second her face touches mine, I become complete. Her precious skin is so soft as I run my lips over her cheeks. She is tiny and perfect. There are no other words to describe her.
The nurse comes over and explains Amelia needs to be taken to the NICU because she is premature. I don’t argue, nor does Lex. The second she’s taken away, I feel the loss. Okay, Charlie, this is your maternal side kicking in. Just get used to it because life has changed forever.
There is this feeling that words can’t describe the moment your child cries for the very first time.
“Mr. Evans refused the treatment.”
“Mr. Evans refused the treatment because the cancer is quite aggressive.” “Wh… What do you mean?” I stammer. “It’s stage four. He has maybe a year to live. He wants to enjoy what time he has left.”
Family, it’s all we have at this moment.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me I once was lost, but now am found Was blind but now I see
Ten days after Andrew Elijah Evans was born, we lost Elijah.
But time passes by, and life as we know it has changed forever.
Why do we love when in the end, it’s taken from us, and we are left to die a slow death?
Words hurt, sometimes more than sticks and stones.
“Marriage is never easy… you’ve got to work hard all the time. We make mistakes, sometimes we hurt, but with the right love, it will burn into your soul forever.”
“If I have to spend my entire life earning your forgiveness, I will do just that. I can’t… we can’t be apart. I cannot let you go.” “I don’t want you to let me go. We promised it was ride or die. I’m standing here, breathing, alive, and want to give our family a second chance to become one again.”
Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright ‘Round yon virgin Mother and Child Holy infant so tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace Sleep in heavenly peace
I don’t know how I spotted it, but there on the ground in front of me lays a white feather. I reach down and pick it up handing it to Adriana. She leans across to Andy and hands it to him. “See, Andy, I told you Daddy was here.”
There are angels all around us. Sometimes we can see them and other times we can’t. If you look carefully, all around us there are clues. There are some that are placed on this earth as a gift from God, and there are some that are around to protect us from harm and evil.
They say there is a light at the end of every tunnel, but they never tell you how long the tunnel is. Sometimes, we stand looking into the dark with the hint of light peeking its way through, and sometimes, we stand looking into the tunnel with only darkness surrounding us.
Things happen for a reason, good or bad. We never truly understand why, instead, we live in a world of regret, focusing on what can never be changed—the past. Sometimes when we are lost in our current happiness, it dawns on us that without mistakes, without regret, we wouldn’t be where we are today.
It made me understand that life may hand you bananas, but sometimes you just need to beat the odds and somehow figure out how to make lemonade.
There will always be darkness in the world we live in, but how we survive is measured by the love that surrounds us.
