Make Me Hate You

by Kandi Steiner

All that mattered was that I locked eyes with Tyler Wagner, and I asked him the question that had kept me awake for seven long years. “Why did you ignore me the day after my mom left?” All the color drained from Tyler’s face, and for the longest time, he just stared at me, unblinking. Then, he blew out a long breath, shaking his head and tearing his gaze from me. “Don’t do this, Jaz.” “I deserve to know.” He sighed, his eyes falling to his sneakers, and I felt a mixture of anger and betrayal bubbling up inside me like a volcano. Suddenly, I didn’t want to be out here, laughing and reminiscing with Tyler Wagner. Suddenly, I remembered all too well the way it felt to have his hands on me, and then to have him avoid me, and finally, to have him reject me. “Why?” I asked again, angling my body toward him. “Why did you avoid me, and then tell me that it was a mistake, that you didn’t mean to…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence, and emotion bubbled up even more. I had no control over any of it, and I hated when my eyes glossed over, though I refused to let a single tear fall. “And why did you do this? Why did you spend the day with me yesterday, and take me here today, and why are we suddenly talking after all these years? We’re all buddy-buddy, reminiscing, pretending like…” I huffed. “And last night…” I swallowed, my throat thick, tongue heavy. “Last night, you… you…” Held me? Touched my face the way you did all those years ago? Leaned in like you wanted to kiss me, like you...