Poems for the End of the World

by Katie Wismer

I’ve lived inside of my head for so long sometimes I forget there’s an entire world outside of it

there is there was nothing romantic about toxicity

when he finally realized I was the one that got away— that used to be all I ever wanted but I no longer felt victorious or satisfied at the thought of him missing me as desperately as I once missed him I just agreed that I had in fact gotten away and I kept moving

and I wonder if I will ever be able to unlearn all of the hateful things society has taught me to think about myself

I am not a windup toy or an application for an award I am not tireless or only worthy when I am succeeding - things to remember

the jeans I wore in high school don’t fit me anymore and neither do some of my dreams - it’s okay to let those go too

this home of flesh and blood is trying its best to keep me afloat working overtime to keep up with the demands of a healthy society and I refuse to resent or criticize it the way everyone else does when it’s doing the best it fucking can

and I can’t help but wonder if love is a well that you can run out of

the world’s greatest lie is that we should strive to be happy all the time a full range of human emotions at our disposal and we want to limit ourselves to a single one there is beauty in our ability to be surprised to survive pain to learn from sadness what a tragedy it would be to feel only joy how empty we would be to feel only happiness

I’m always waiting for a text back a paycheck a day off some good news better weather a new idea and as soon as it comes the clock resets and I start waiting for something else - how much time have I wasted this way?