The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love

by Sonya Renee Taylor

It is an act of terrorism against our bodies to perpetuate body shame and to support body-based oppression. I call this “body terrorism.” Terrorism is defined as “the systematic use of terror especially as a means of coercion.”41

Be a body-shame-free friend. Eliminate language that disparages bodies based on race, age, size, gender, ability, sexual orientation, religion, mental health status, or any other attribute. Compassionately challenge others you hear using body-shame language to describe themselves or others. This includes health or concern trolling (making unsolicited comments about a person’s health based on their physical appearance). Engage and encourage curiosity-driven dialogue, not debate or arguing. Practice the value of sharing and listening to the perspectives of others. The goal of dialogue need not be to change anyone’s mind, but to offer and receive a perspective for consideration and curiosity. Embrace multiple perspectives. Avoid having conversations from the assumption of right and wrong. Even if every cell in your body disagrees with someone’s perspective, remember that making people “bad” and “wrong” will never build connection and understanding. People who feel judged and attacked often only become further entrenched in their ideas.12 Have compassion for and honor people’s varied journeys. Not everyone has read the books you’ve read or had the experiences you’ve had. There was a time when you had not had them either. Our journeys are unique and varied. Compassion births patience. Expect and accept discomfort. Conversations about centuries-old oppressions are hard! If they were not, the world would be rid of body terrorism and oppression by now. Honor how we all have been i...