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October 14 - October 21, 2023
Everyone acted like if you were fat, all your medical problems were fat. They never wanted to look beyond the extra layer of tissue to see what was really going on.
And this disease meant I would have a harder time losing weight, but that was my only chance at being healthy? It didn’t make any sense.
knew she had my best interests at heart, but that didn’t keep me from wanting to be enough, for once, just as I was.
My own brother didn’t think Beckett could be interested in a girl like me.
Here, I could paint any reality I wanted and escape the gnawing
feeling of being just a little out of place. Of not being good enough.
There was no use in trying to explain it to her when all she could see was my size.
Don’t expose anyone to your body in case it made them uncomfortable.
“Who told you that you deserve less because of your size? That you couldn’t be desirable or hot?”
Her words seemed so at odds with what I felt. How could I reconcile her opinion with the truth I’d accepted about myself?
Everyone knew fat girls couldn’t eat junk food in front of anyone else.
smiled back, but the doubts swirling in my mind made sure the smile didn’t last long.
One day, Beckett picked me first. He picked me. And after that, people didn’t tease me as much.”
Nothing killed high school romance like infertility and fat.
held the letter to my chest and hoped when fall came, I’d be accepted in more ways than one.
So, I did what any self-respecting older sister with a vendetta would do. I waited until we’d finished our bike ride, eaten supper, and Mom and Dad were in bed before cornering him in his room.
“Anna, you are precious exactly the way you are. You do not need to change anything to be worthy of kindness and respect, and if they are not treating you in a way that shows kindness and respect, then something is wrong with them and what they've been taught. Not you. Do you understand?”
Sometimes, the most beautiful things are broken.”
If this was what Beckett got just from dancing with me at a club one night, what would happen when we went public at homecoming? Beckett deserved better than that. And I should have known better.
There had to be at least one girl out there with a good personality and a waistline smaller than his.
The only thing my mom could see about me was my size. She didn’t see the four letters that seemed to have taken over my life.
Beckett may have hated me now, but not as much as I hated myself.
but I’m here to change the future. I love you, Rory, and I’m done trying to do anything to fix you. You don’t need to be fixed. You need to shine.”
The message behind her words struck me. My mom was saying I was good enough—good
“This is for you and every other girl who’s never felt good enough. I love you, and you should too.”
Used a bet as an excuse to pursue my true feelings about him.