Detour (Creekwood, #1)

by A. Marie

I thought these guys might be dangerous but I had no idea just how much.

Where Beckett uses the term in a playful, borderline endearing manner, Coty says the nickname like a caress.

“I’d remember if I saw you before.”

Music is the one thing that can make you feel while making you forget all at once. It can take you away or bring you back, depending on the song.

News flash: if a girl isn’t eye-fucking you back, she’s just not that into you.

“My pleasure. You never know who might be lurking, waiting to pounce on a beautiful girl.”

I didn’t tell Drew about the boys across the hall. I didn’t tell him how Beckett’s jovial antics remind me of the ease Drew and I share with each other. I didn’t tell him how Coty has this crazy way of making me feel safe and threatened at the same time. I didn’t tell him about Marc’s penetrating personality that I can’t help but want to learn about. Last night was the first time I kept things from Drew. Even though my new neighbors are just that—neighbors—their presence is something I don’t want to share just yet.

He isn’t far off. I’m not running from something; I’m running from someone. Always have been, perhaps always will be. The characteristics our parents pass down to us don’t even have to be handed off at close range for them to still cause damage.

Typical. Men thinking all women need help. And from them of course. What about all the times we need help because of them?

Nobody will even bother you.” My lips purse together on their own accord making him laugh lightly. “Yeah, okay, Beck will most definitely bother you but that’s just his personality. He’s got a great heart, bigger than people think.”

Love is infectious. That love is transcendent. I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever be fortunate enough to find someone like that. If I were to believe what my mother told me my entire life, then I’d say no.

He wants answers that I can’t give him. I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing, let alone how to explain it. One minute I want to hide inside my apartment with the door locked to everyone, the next I’m staring Coty down like he’s my next great adventure. It’s fucked. I’m fucked. The only thing I do know is I can’t stay here with his towel looking more and more like my own personal invitation to explore.

Coty’s a risk taker. He lives his life doing what he loves. You can see it in the way he describes his life. His friends, his job, his hobbies—he’s truly fulfilled. I want that, instead of always doing what I have to. What I need to do to survive. I wish I had the freedom he does. And maybe I will one day. Maybe today’s another step toward a place where I can do things that not only make me feel alive but hopefully as carefree as Coty appears. But, does that step really need to be from the back of a two-wheeled death trap?

“If you want to stop, I’ll stop. Simple. I’m not going to force you into anything you don’t want to do. I promised to keep you safe and I will. Okay?”

“He only lets his girlfriends ride with him is what he means,” Beckett teases as Coty helps me with the helmet, avoiding my gaze in the process.

“I’m picky with who I let on my bike. It’s not about who I’m sleeping with.” I can feel the glare he shoots Beckett. “It’s about trust. I lean, you lean, right?” He lowers his head, catching my eye. “But it’s more than that. It’s-” he starts only to stop, frustrated. “Remember how I told you that every move you make I’ll feel?” I nod. “Well, I have to trust that you feel our connection when we’re together on there. And that you respect that connection as much as I do. I have to trust you won’t make careless moves that’ll affect either of us. Moves that could hurt both of us. Moves we can’t come back from.”

“You started your day eating breakfast with me while I was half naked.” Recovering, my eyes harden, my tongue pressing into my cheek. “Then you ended it with your legs wrapped around me. I just want to be prepared if some dude shows up at my door pissed off. I know I would be.”

I’ll rebuild what’s been damaged and make myself stronger. I can be strong. I will be strong. I am strong.

“Babe, I’d close this whole fucking place down if I wanted to teach you a lesson.” I could call his bluff but I’m not out of moves yet. “Go for a ride with me.”

She just needs to learn it’s okay not being so headstrong all the time, and I want to be the one to teach her. Show her what it’s like to let loose a little. Explain she’s worthy of more than just existing. Prove that life can be more than working to just work some more.

“I don’t know what happened in your life,” he pauses when I shift, “or tonight. And I’m not asking, Angela. Okay? I just…I want you to know I’m here. I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk. About anything.”

“Ride it? It means to ride life, don’t let it ride you. It’s a reminder that no matter what gets thrown at you, you still have the power to decide how you maneuver through it. Riding motorcycles is the truest testament to that since even a small pebble can send the strongest of riders reeling.”

“Don’t be mad,” I whisper. “I’m not mad. I’m jealous as hell. I want mine to be the first face you see in the morning. Not Beckett’s. Not anyone else’s. Just mine.”

While I haven’t known Coty all that long, I’ve picked up on more than he’s shared, too. I may not be able to trust him with my heart because of my own issues, but I know I can trust him with my body.

“My problems stay my problems. I promise they won’t make their way next door or to any of my other neighbors.”

Rianne will never catch sight of Coty if I can help it. She has a knack for taking anything good, anything untainted, and twisting it into something ugly with her mental gauntlet.

“Don’t. Don’t try to deny it. I told you I’ll wait and I will, but you need to stop acting like this isn’t happening. Babe, you’re all I think about. Having you steps away every night and not being able to touch you is killing me. The thought of one of my boys touching you is enough to send me over the edge and do something I might regret. Do you get that?”

“But you’re wrong, too. I won’t get over it. You’re like a drug I can’t quit. Each hit filling a need but never enough to fully satisfy the want. That want is you, babe. I want you. And not just your body, which I’ll happily take anytime.” He winks cheekily when I frown. “But the rest of you. All of you. Everything.”

“I mean what I said, Angela. I want you. No games, no hidden agenda, just you.”

“I’ll be anything you want me to be, as long as you say you’re mine.” He then leans his helmet to mine, waiting for me to close the distance. Always letting me choose.

She could be the hurricane that destroyed everything in its path, but she’d never break me.

“Babe, you are the distraction.”

“I fell asleep with you in my arms, I’m going to wake up with you in them, too.”

“The wounds our parents make can leave the ugliest scars. But they can also teach us what not to do. If you burn your hand on the stove, do you just give up ever using it again?” The circular motion stops and I give him a blank stare. He does know cooking is not my thing, right? Luckily, he doesn’t expect an answer. “No. You learn not to put your bare hand on a hot stove the next time you cook. You’re more careful, more thoughtful, more prepared. Our parents influence who we are, but we choose who we become. Their mistakes don’t have to be ours.”

“Because I want to.” He presses a chaste kiss to my lips. “Because you’re worth it.” Another kiss, this one just under my ear. “Someone made you believe you’re not. I’m going to show you that you are.”

How can she play victim while simultaneously being the villain? I’d be impressed if I wasn’t so fucking disgusted. This woman raised Angela?

Since she moved in, there hasn’t been a single night that I didn’t go to bed knowing she was asleep just next door. Tossing and turning last night, I realized how much that knowledge comforted me. Feeling her close calms me. If I lose that, I lose a piece of my mind, a piece of my sanity. I need it back. I need her back. And I’ll do anything to make that happen, even if it means leaving.

“To family,” a scowl settles on my face before I can stop it, but Marc presses on, “the one that makes you, not the one that tries to break you.”

“I miss you when you turn away from me. I miss you when you close your eyes at night. I miss you when your lips pull away from mine.” He leans down, softly nipping at my lips. “I miss your smell.”

The hope that I could be what he wanted, what they needed. Maybe I am more like my mom than I thought. I’m just as toxic to everyone that gets close as she is. A slow-acting poison that lulls you into false security until it’s too late, killing everything good in its vicinity. But, no. Not this time. I refuse to cause the same damage she has. Always taking, taking, taking for herself.

What I want? I want my life to make sense. I want a life that I actually have a say over. One that happiness resides without a constant cloud of misery hovering in the distance, waiting for the perfect time to strike and ruin what I’ve worked my ass off for. I want a fucking chance. A chance to be who I want and not what others keep telling me I am. A chance at being the woman my mother never could be. One that loves freely without consequences coming to those who dare to love her back.

She’s mine as much as I’m hers. CHAPTER 35 Angela Times passes in a blur of engines roaring, voices booming, and doors slamming.

“I got you. Today. Tomorrow. Forever. It doesn’t matter. I’m not going anywhere.”

“We’re all broken in some way or another. That’s what binds us together, finding someone you trust enough to protect the pieces that need it most. I can’t promise you perfect ‘cause I’m not perfect. I can’t promise you easy ‘cause it won’t be. But I can promise to be here for you through it all no matter what, loving you in any way you’ll allow me for as long as I’m breathing. Whether that makes you my girlfriend or not is up to you, but my feelings remain the same. I see your wreckage and want to fix my own just so I can be the armor yours is missing. I love you, Angela.”

I lean my forehead against his and whisper, “I’m not making any promises either but I fell for you, I fell so damn hard I’m still waiting for the ground to catch up with me and that scares me, so much. I trust you to hold my many, many broken pieces safely while I find my way though.”