My First Little Book of Intersectional Activism

by Titania McGrath

Believe me, future generations will thank us if we successfully eliminate heterosexuality.

It is crucial that we all work together to ensure that this pandemic does not distract us from the far more serious problem of people being misgendered on Twitter.

I’m a little tired of being described as the ‘modern-day Rosa Parks’. For one thing, I wouldn’t be seen dead on public transport.

I have a dream that little children will one day live in a nation where they will be judged not by the content of their character, but by the colour of their skin, in order to fulfil diversity quotas and deconstruct the inherent toxicity of whiteness.

I have a dream that little black boys and little black girls and little black gender-nonconforming children will be able to work as one to dismantle oppressive institutionalised power structures and cis-dominant heteronormative discourses of privilege.

She truly touched the heartstrings of everyone she shouted at.

It was a brilliant theory that immediately explained the bizarre phenomenon of why some white people don’t like being called racist if they’ve never said or done anything racist.

Since it is impossible for black people to be racist, any white person who is not being racist is committing behavioural blackface. Therefore, all non-racist white people are racist.

Due to institutionalised power structures, black people in America today are more oppressed than any of their ancestors ever were and must be treated as victims at all times. Even the ones who are millionaires.

As an adherent of the Religion of Peace™ and one of the world’s leading austere religious scholars, Abū believed in acts of peaceful genocide and austere executions, as well as keeping sex slaves in an austere and peaceful way.

I often find that my opponents will try to blindside me with ‘facts’ and ‘logic’, slippery manoeuvres that end up making it look as though I don’t know what I’m talking about.

The other sure-fire strategy is to diagnose one’s opponents with a ‘phobia’, defined as ‘an extreme or irrational fear’.

Oh, and if you’re going to be a social justice activist on Twitter, always make sure that you announce your pronouns in your bio. That way, when you’re calling your opponents evil lowlife scumbags, trying to get them fired, or gloating if they die, everyone will know that you’re actually incredibly compassionate.

Veronica was a trans activist who wasn’t afraid to take the moral high ground and wish misery and death upon those who disagreed with her politically.

Genitals have literally nothing to do with sexual attraction. In fact, if a straight man refuses to fellate a female penis, that just proves he’s actually gay.

The last time Vince Cable had sex with anyone, they’d given him change in shillings.

I am the spirit of the Amistad made flesh.