Spider solitaire did not turn out to be an adequate substitute. I became very sad. Unless somebody did something about my emotional needs, it seemed likely to continue. I didn’t want to ask for help, though… It didn’t seem like I deserved it. I also wasn’t necessarily ready to admit to an obvious sign of weakness like emotional needs. Under the circumstances, the most practical solution genuinely seemed like it might be to befriend myself. The idea wasn’t my favorite I’ve ever had. I mean, what the fuck kind of warp-speed loser tries to be their own friend? How would that even work? Ask myself
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