Solutions and Other Problems

by Allie Brosh

You’ve heard stories before, so right now, you’re probably thinking, Yeah, but that’s just where the frog starts. Surely the rest of the story is about the frog’s journey to success. No. That is not where the story is going. First of all, there is no such thing as a successful frog. Oh, I’m sorry—does the frog have to be beautiful and successful before we can talk about it? Is that how the world works? We only get to talk about frogs who are amazing? Guess what, children—this isn’t even a real story. It’s just a ruse to teach you a lesson about life. I’m glad you asked, children. As far as we can tell, life does not have a point. There is no need to be frightened. Yes, an invisible stranger just told you that life is pointless, but, much like this story, life doesn’t need a point. I mean, it can have one if you want. Go ahead—pick one. Whatever you want. Count all the rocks. Get faster at singing. Be as nice as possible. Grow 500 pumpkins and put them in a pile. But there’s nothing that requires life to have a point.