Be Water, My Friend: The Teachings of Bruce Lee

by Shannon Lee

And what you’ll discover in this book is that what Bruce Lee wants is for you to be the best version of you that you can be. And that will look entirely different from Bruce Lee because, well, you are you.

“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.”

We need to make space and allow for all of life’s twists and turns, ups and downs, while learning to be flexible, sentient, natural, and unstoppable in the midst of it all.

“People have to grow through skillful frustrations, otherwise they have no incentive to develop their own means and ways of coping with the world.”

He often illustrated his teachings through parables on nature, such as using the difference between an oak tree and bamboo to make a point (the oak tree will eventually snap under a strong wind while the bamboo survives because it can move with the wind).

“Never assert yourself against nature,” he told him. “Never be in frontal opposition to any problem, but control it by swinging with it.”

Should not the thoughts and emotions I have when in front of an opponent pass like the reflection of the bird flying over the water? This is exactly what Professor Yip meant by being one in whom feeling was not sticky or blocked. Therefore in order to control myself, I must first accept myself by going with and not against my nature.

At its essence, water flows. It finds its way around (or even through) obstacles. My father would call this having “no limitations.” Water is present to its circumstances and surroundings and therefore ready to move in any direction that allows it passage. That openness and pliability means it is in a constant state of readiness, but a natural readiness because it is simply being wholly itself. To be like water, then, is to realize your most whole, natural, and actualized self where you are living as much as possible in the slipstream of life as you forge your own path forward.

“To grow, to discover, we need involvement, which is something I experience every day, sometimes good, sometimes frustrating.”

For many of us, life happens to us. We get trapped in unconscious patterns of living and forget that there are, in fact, many choices and many ways to be fully involved in the creation of our lives.

“Like flowing water, life is perpetual movement.”

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

My father would say the most important work you have in life is to be yourself, or, as he called it: to self-actualize.

In order to learn new information, we must first make room to let that information in.

If I walk into a party with a sense of dread, then I am subconsciously looking for evidence of that dread to prove myself right. And it may be true that there are things to dread at the party, but because I’m on high alert for all the dreadfulness, I will conveniently find it and not see anything that might be enjoyable or fun. We are always looking to be proved right. And when we have a need to be right, we will only accept that which substantiates our point of view.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is.”

Have a mind that has no dwelling place but continues to flow ceaselessly and ignores our limitations and our distinctions. Do not strive to localize the mind anywhere but let it fill up the whole body; let it flow freely throughout the totality of your being. Do not let the mind be grasping or sticky. Don’t look at “what is” from the position of thinking what should be. It is not to be without emotion or feeling but to be one in whom feeling is not sticky or blocked.

In meditation, we should allow, surrender, loosen, let go. Just make space and embody space.

Remember, I am no teacher; I can merely be a signpost for a traveler who is lost. It is up to you to decide on the direction. All I can offer is an experience but never a conclusion, so even what I have said needs to be thoroughly examined by you. I might be able to help you to discover and examine your problem by awakening your awareness. A teacher, a good teacher that is, functions as a pointer to truth but not a giver of truth.

We shall find the truth when we examine the problem. The problem is never apart from the answer; the problem is the answer.

As you investigate and stick with the problem, I encourage you to utilize the tool of journaling or writing as a way of tracking your discoveries and organizing your thoughts. Don’t just think your thoughts; write them down. Physically track what you love, what you’re curious about, your experiments, your ideas, your dreams. If you just think them and don’t truly represent them in a way that turns them into a concrete practice for you, then they may just float in on one wavelength and out on another, or exist only in a vague dream or recollection with no real plan of action.

Instead of opposing force by force, one should complete an opposing movement by accepting the flow of energy from it and defeat it by borrowing from it. This is the law of adaptation.

If we do the work of understanding who we are, we will hold more and more to our core and see the opposing points of view more as complements rather than condemnations.

In his mind, why wait for something that may never come if you may be able to manifest it yourself? And how will you know if you could have manifested it yourself if you never even try?

Remember, my friend, it’s not what happens that counts; it is how you react. Your mental attitude determines what you make of it, either a stepping stone or a stumbling block.

Worry doesn’t solve a problem; it makes a problem out of the problem. Pessimism doesn’t solve a problem; it makes a problem harder by implying it is impossible to solve. Fear doesn’t solve a problem; it stops us from attacking the problem because we are afraid of failing or making the problem worse. Doubt doesn’t solve a problem; it gives you an excuse not to solve the problem. And apathy doesn’t solve a problem; it leaves you uncaring about anything at all. All this negativity just blunts the tools you have at your disposal to overcome an obstacle. It creates obstacles in front of obstacles.

“Patience is not passive. On the contrary, patience is concentrated strength.”

Drop the doubt, the self-deprecation, the hedging of bets, the pretending, the lying. You are working on yourself—own it. Talk about the problem and the solution with optimism. Live in the possibility of your new way of being with the words that you speak.

In life, there are those who react and there are those who respond. A reaction is an unskilled expression, which happens when we are unaware of our state and our primal brain, or when our ego operates the machinery. A response is a skilled expression, in which our higher self is present and at the helm and we are making a natural and masterful choice.

The goal isn’t not to fail; the goal is to fail faster so that the lessons from the failures can be implemented and lead you to success more quickly.

If you have the mental image of a warrior as someone who runs out bravely and determinedly into battle, translate that image instead into the image of someone who valiantly takes on whatever life throws at them with grace and determination, someone who doesn’t turn away from a challenge or from acknowledging their own shortcomings, someone who doesn’t seek just an ideal image but rather an ideal soul. That’s a modern-day warrior and a hero.

don’t put all your focus and energy into your career so that one day you will be content and happy. Work on being content and happy and bring that into your career and the rest of your life.

“When I look around, I always learn something and that is to be always yourself, and to express yourself, to have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. Start from the very root of your being, which is ‘how can I be me?’” He believed that this achieving center, being grounded in oneself, was about the highest state a human being could achieve.

When man comes to a conscious realization of those great spiritual forces within himself and begins to use those forces in life, his progress in the future will be unparalleled. To raise our potential is to live every second refreshed. Trust the life-giving force within.

“True mastery is service.” What that means to me is that the energy imparted and expressed through someone’s mastery is in and of itself an act of service because it lifts us up and inspires us to what is possible in life. You shine your own light, and there’s more light, in total, for everyone.

If we can see and understand and admit our faults and shortcomings, then we have hope for transforming ourselves and thereby our lives and the lives around us. All this knowing oneself, creating this immoveable center that is rooted in our beingness, is what allows us to have compassion for one another.

Intolerance can teach tolerance. Judgment can teach acceptance. War can teach peace. Fear can teach love. Shadow can teach light. Open your mind. Rebalance the scale.