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June 24 - September 30, 2022
As we uncover the ways we’ve been formed by our families, the goal is not simply to name what happened and the persons responsible. Although that certainly can get us out of illusion, the goal is to relate to our present pain in ways that reframe how we’ve internalized our experiences.
In the last few years, the gospel truth of grace has helped me be “compassionately curious” with myself whenever anxiety surfaces.
“Emotion is a more or less unconscious, but at the same time vitally important physical response to internal or external events—such things as fear of thunderstorms, rage at having been deceived, or the pleasure that results from a present we really desire. By contrast, the word ‘feeling’ designates a conscious perception of an emotion.”5
What are you mad about? 2. What are you sad about? 3. What are you anxious about? 4. What are you glad about? As we wrestle with these questions, whether in solitude or in community, we bring to light some of the material that needs to be named, discerned, and healed.
Our reactions are a source of important revelation for our lives. They tell us more about ourselves than about other people.
The key is asking questions that are introspective in nature, such as, Why am I reacting this way? What is causing me to feel this angst? and Why am I so triggered by this person? As we make sense of our reactions, we position ourselves to experience greater freedom.
I resolved that if I found myself negatively or disproportionately reacting to someone or something, I would take a few minutes during the day to process that moment through five questions: 1. What happened? 2. What am I feeling? 3. What is the story I’m telling myself? 4. What does the gospel say? 5. What counter-instinctual action is needed?
When sex is reduced to the moment, our lives with each other become transactional and potentially objectifying. When it is seen as simply an act, our spouses’ bodies become means to an end and we are in danger of having marriages shaped by using and not communion.
As we love each other, naked and unashamed, we enact the vulnerable, free, faithful, and fruitful qualities of love demonstrated in Jesus.
I was reminded that any talk of being engaged in the world must begin not with activity but with a life in God. The Hindus in this story were looking for people who could model a different way of being in the world. It’s not that the work projects don’t matter. We need them. What matters more is the quality of lives out of which the work flows. Our lives are to be joined with God in love, in contemplation, in surrender, in obedience, and out of that, in loving service and mission to the world.
Deeply formed mission is first about who we are becoming before what we are doing. Our most effective strategy in reaching a world for Christ is grounded in the kind of people we are being formed into. The quality of our presence is our mission. And the good news is that Jesus doesn’t wait for us to be perfect before inviting us into mission.
The remedy for this kind of missional engagement is not total withdrawal but creative withdrawal. In the soul-creating moments of being with God and others, the quality of our lives overflows to reach others.
I wholeheartedly believe that God has already begun a conversation with someone long before I arrive. If it is true, as Paul declares in Acts 17:28, that in God “we live and move and have our being,” every person on the face of this planet is already, on some level, being encountered by God. The individual might not be able to cognitively perceive it or receive it, but Christian theology assumes God’s active presence all over the world. What’s needed is for Christ followers to discern God’s presence rather than assuming his absence.
Yet that different light is the default mode of much of Christianity. We are often known for what we are against rather than what we are
Mission for a Christian must begin not with human fallenness but with God’s posture toward the world.
hospitality is not simply the opening of our homes; it is the opening of our hearts to another. In
Jesus is safe enough for these people to approach him. He makes space.
I want to be approachable.
As theologian Henri Nouwen said, “Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place.”2
But if we will remember that part of our work is the spirit in which we do it, God will work through our lives.
To announce the gospel is not just for the large Christian gathering; it’s for the encounters we have with people on a day-to-day basis.
But the announcing of the gospel is a practice that requires careful discernment, compassionate curiosity, and a willingness to step beyond a transaction of faith.
