Charming as a Verb

by Ben Philippe

Where you fall between the three, in America, the land of opportunities and blockbusters, depends on how hungry you are for it. How much gusto and hustle you can muster in pursuit of your goals and for that better life for your children.

No truer words have been spoken on god 😁

Like I said, very close quarters. There’s something very strange about witnessing your 5' 6" Haitian mother slowly get more ripped than you.

That sound absolutely terrifying.😶

(Don’t worry, they’re still alive and well.) And since these schools are looking to diversify their student body, and since I am: a.) very smart (not bragging, just true); b.) Black; c.) poor (sounds depressing that way, but strictly speaking, also true); and d.) the kid of immigrants, the admissions director literally shook my hand four times over the course of my interview. And so I was to be a FATE student: tuition, spaceship-looking building, and megawatt future all included.

I honestly love how real Henri is 😊

“Punctuality, Work Ethic, and Education” would be the words on the Haltiwanger family crest.

That should be on everyone's family crest

The puppy itself is pretty freaking adorable. I’m not a dog racist—all breeds are beautiful in their own right—but

Lmao 😂

Corinne narrows her eyes at me. “Mom, I can find us a better dog walker in three swipes,” she says, brandishing her phone.

Do I sense an enemies to lovers trope?🤔😀

“Ageism,” I whisper, which causes Chantale to smile, ever so slightly.

Lmao 😂

“He’s not wrong, Corinne. Are you advocating for discriminatory hiring practices right in my home?”

😂

High-rise kids are what we call a certain specimen of children of Manhattan (and a few in Brooklyn too). They’re that breed of rich kids that rarely take the subway or even cabs because there’s always a family car service waiting for them around the corner.

Kids are specimens and breeds now I can't lmao 😂😭

“Those black ones are also fake, by the way! Don’t you dare buy them.” “You should be an app!”

Lmao 😂

It is, for all intents and purposes, a dog-less dog walk. Although considering I’m tired, confused, and kind of really need to pee, I might as well be a Yorkshire terrier right now.

Lmao 😂

That’s what got Dora the Nosy-Ass Little Explorer all up in my business?

Lmao 😂😂😂

It’s established knowledge that all the effort you put into being the perfect college applicant should in turn also look effortless. The great catch-22 of Higher Education. Be perfect and make it look easy.

Nobody is perfect

“Godspeed, young Padawan,” he says, clasping her shoulder before heading off. “Please feel free to embarrass Halti as much as possible!”

Another Star Wars reference I love it lmao 😂

It’s often a lot easier to simply adjust to these expectations instead of being yourself.

I can kind or relate to this quote some what.

The constant notion to prove yourself as truly exceptional to shake off the affirmative action cloud floating over your head, that unfun and constant fear that other people think you’re only where you are because of lowered expectations.

This is definitely a good quote to remember. 😁

like pairing a weird breed of worm that only grows in the diseased pouches of kangaroos and an adorable, superintelligent Baby Yoda with a pink hat who’s already tapped into the Force.

I'm sorry what lmao 😆

There’s something new ahead, of course, but life as we all know it is in countdown mode.

That's why you should spend your teenage years and young adult years making memoriesyour only live once.

“Boy behavior is fascinating,” Corinne says,

I honestly agreed lmao 😆

“All right, boys. Put your dicks away; the smell is terrible,” Yadira chimes in.

Lmao

The dogs help my mood because dogs were designed by a benevolent universe to help with moods.

Me too

This year, they have the bombastic confidence of handsome young white men of good families, which is to say infinite.

Lmao

“Man, small talk is not your forte, huh?” “I don’t believe in it as a lifestyle choice, no.”

Me to

There’s no Haitian in her, no Jamaican, no Puerto Rican. Her Blackness is American, born and raised. Stolen and enslaved, technically, but still, it’s rooted here. She never aspired to be here from another shore elsewhere.

“I don’t have to do a damn thing except stay Black, pay my taxes, and die, honey.”

Me to lmao 😂

Just be yourself.” “People love saying that.” I sigh. “That’s like screaming at someone having a panic attack not to panic. What if I don’t know what that means?”

Not that I was trying to catch a glimpse of her before leaving for good luck or anything.

Liar lmao 😂

We kiss again, for the first time on American soil. Unlike anyone else I’ve ever met, this girl could so very easily make my heart her complete bitch.

*Internally screaming *☺️☺️☺️☺️

All children are charming as an adjective, but you’re charming as a verb.

that's how the book got its name

No one can say I’m not a well-spoken Negro in texting too.

Lmao