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“Dancing with you is a gift, Pen. Loving you an inevitability,” he whispers
“I might have a girl crush.”
I can’t help myself. I thought I’d got a lid on my emotions around her. I fucking haven’t.
And by the brief flash of pain in Pen’s eyes, she thinks all this hate I feel is aimed at her. It isn’t. It’s aimed at me. I fucking hate myself. I hate myself for watching Pen unravel her soul and cut herself open at Grim’s club and not doing anything to stop it.
I hate that it wasn’t me who climbed into the cage and fucking choked Malik Brov for putting his hands and lips on her. I hate that I let her believe I would e...
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I dropped dance the moment she left us, refusing to open myself up to anyone like that again. I didn’t want anyone else to be able to read me. Just her. Just Pen. Just Titch.
So, I do what Pen did Friday night. I push the boundaries, I do it for her, for Titch. My girl.
Our girl.
My girl. My fighter. My Titch.
There have only ever been two obsessions in my life. I’m dancing one of them and looking at the other.
I’m a great dancer, yes, but only because of her, because of Pen. She brings out the best in me, always has.
I think she’ll understand just who it is that occupies my heart and soul. Titch.
back to the only woman who’s ever ruled my
heart.
She’s saying sorry. Emphatically, with her body, her whole fucking soul.
So I do the same because I can’t deny my feelings a fucking second longer.
She’s the defiant little girl beneath that oak tree, bruised and battered but never beaten. She’s the woman with secrets that weigh her down, but will not end her. She’s the dancer that inspires passion in others. She’s her. She’s Titch. And just like that, I’m a goner. Hook, line, and fucking sinker.
She’s captured me like a fish on a goddamn rod and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m hers again.
I’m hers if she’ll...
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Zayn was right. He said out loud what we’ve all been thinking. Pen might have betrayed us. She might have walked away, but there’s more to it than that.
“My Titch,”
“What is it with you boys getting on your knees for me?”
“Titch,” I say,
“Titch,” he mutters,
“You, Titch, aren’t slipping away again. I won’t fucking allow it.”
“And what if it doesn’t matter? What if you’ve got no control over what happens between us? What if this is out of my hands? What then?”
“Then I kill the fucker that’s standin...
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“What if he kills yo...
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“Not gonna happen. I’m a motherfucking vampire, remember? They can’t die.”
“You were never our weakness. You were always our strength.” “Until I wasn’t. Until I walked away.” “Then don’t walk away again, Titch. Don’t fucking walk away.”
want to stay—”
“I want you to stay. Now, tomorrow, forever, Titch.”
“I can’t promise you forever, York. No matter how much I want to do that. I can only promise you this moment. That’s all I can give you right now.” “Then I’ll take that. I’ll take the now, and we’ll bench the future until we can figure this mess out.”
“I hated you for a long, long time, Titch.”
“But I never, ever, stopped loving you. Even if I can only admit that to myself now.”
“then I swear to you, Titch, we’ll make this right.” “We?”
I feel weak. Satiated. Loved. I always assumed this kind of sexual act is all about lust, but what he just did, that was so much more than that.
“You make me want to be a better man. I was blinded for too long. Now I can see fucking clearly.”
This is healing.
“Are you for real?” York pinches his arm. “Pretty fucking sure I’m not a statue.”
I should walk away. I should tell him to go fuck himself right now. I don’t because when it comes to Xeno, I’ve never been able to say no.
But lyrical.
“How fucking dare you!” “That’s more like it. That’s the girl I knew,”
“Where the fuck did she go?”
God, I’ve fucking missed him. I hold my arms out to Xeno, my fingers splayed as I reach for the boy I loved, to the man I’m
angry with now.
“I’m not ashamed of the fact that I did it to protect them. To protect my brothers. Everything I do is for Zayn, York, and Dax. That is what love is, Pen. Not walking away, not turning your back on people you care about when it gets too hard.”
If you'd only know
“I know everything about protecting the ones you love,”
“Pen? Shit, yeah, I remember that. Those boys were into you, girl. Pretty sweet gift.”
I like the power and the lifestyle that being Grim affords me. Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness.” “I don’t. I’m just trying to understand.” “Then don’t. The only person who understands who I am and what I’m about is Beast.”
