The mistakes that the parents made radically altered them and the trajectory of their lives. Their present state of mind and life condition were primarily formed by the parent or family environment rather than by genes, neighborhood, class, peers, economics, or culture. Estrangement is the best strategy to heal or alter that trajectory. Working on the relationship with the parent or choosing to be in some limited form of contact is worse for them or, in other ways, not a worthwhile endeavor. Whatever consequences exist for the grandchildren or other family members are worth it, or at least
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