injustice of their wrongful accusations is a fool’s errand. If your adult child says, “You should’ve been more x, y, or z [fill in the blank: available, patient, insightful]. As a result I’m b, c, or d [fill in the blank: too anxious, depressed, have intimacy issues, not successful, can’t manage money],” you’re far better off just accepting that as an unknown that you have no need to contest. “Yes, perhaps you’re right. At the time I wasn’t aware that you felt that way or needed something different from me. I’m so sorry I missed that. I could see how that would’ve been better for you.” Put
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