make a close relationship difficult, if not impossible. This is because it’s the closeness that they find so challenging. They lack the internal resources that allow them to navigate the normal slings and arrows of parent–adult child relations. They’re constantly feeling hijacked by their emotions and perceptions. Desperate feelings and thoughts require desperate actions to find relief. And in the same way that some seek the comfort of alcohol, drugs, or sex, those who live in constant pain and threat of dysregulation seek the comfort of control and the control of others, no matter how
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