Stuck On You

by Portia MacIntosh

waiting to see if his reigning missus pops her clogs.

It’s practically a cutlery-clatter moment.

I shake my head. Should I really be confiding in a stranger?

brevity is the soul of wit –

‘They even taught us this cringey rhyme to remember the key facts.’

‘So it went something like… Six foot at the highest part of the tide. Five is the minutes it takes for the drive. Four-by-fours still find it hard. Three thousand pounds it costs the coastguard. Two times a day is when we see the tide. One life would be wasted if you surely died.’

It’s a Wonderful Life.

‘Snitches get stitches,’