You're the Only One I've Told: The Stories Behind Abortion

by Meera Shah

He taught me that religion is at the core of so many people’s sense of self and that one way to understand others is to try to understand their faith.

Medicine can tell us when pregnancy begins and when a fetus is likely to be viable outside of the womb, but the concept of life is more abstract and varies depending on an individual’s belief.

Denying someone an abortion to make a statement about morality is ignoring the root cause of the issue.

Believe it or not, everyone knows and loves someone who has had an abortion.

Some find it hard to believe, but one in four women in America has an abortion in her lifetime (the study presented the data with reference to “women”).9 That means someone you know or someone you love has had one—even if they don’t talk about it. Most people don’t believe me when I tell them this statistic, but I emphasize that if people talked about abortion more, they would definitely believe it. Abortion is very common. Not understanding how common it is has contributed to the belief that it is shameful and rare.

Abortion will always be accessible for affluent people, white people—even conservative ones—and those publicly fighting against abortion access. Politicians have taken access away from people of color, low-income people, people who cannot afford to lose work, and those who face consequences including parental retaliation and abuse. They have manipulated the complex emotions people have about life and personhood while fearing bodily autonomy to make abortion a polarizing tool to gain and hold onto political power.

The term “reproductive justice” was coined in 1994 by twelve Black women and defined as the human right to have children, to not have children, and to parent the children they have in a safe and sustainable environment. In 2007, this theory was expanded by these same women to include the right to sexual pleasure.

The road to that decision can sometimes be simple, and it can sometimes be very, very complicated. For many, it’s not a gut-wrenching deliberation—it’s a matter of survival. Because of the complexities in one’s life and the intersections of one’s identity, this idea of choice is more complicated than the term “pro-choice” can embody. For this reason, I have made the decision not to use it.