You're the Only One I've Told: The Stories Behind Abortion

by Meera Shah

I’ve always believed that the simple act of sharing stories is one of the most effective ways to influence, teach, and inspire change. Storytelling creates emotional connections between people. By sharing the nuances of culture, history, and values, people and ideas are united through their stories. Even if an individual can’t identify with another’s exact experience, there is usually some component of the story, even as small as the fleeting, universal emotions of fear or happiness, that can be shared and appreciated.

There is no such thing as a good abortion or bad abortion or someone who is worthy of an abortion or someone who is not. These stories show that people who have abortions are human beings with varied life experiences, just like everyone else. The decision to have an abortion doesn’t always stem from trauma or turmoil either; sometimes it’s easy and simple. One is not unique because they had an abortion. An abortion does not define someone; it is one event in a person’s life.

The third principle, my favorite and the one that guides my work, is non-absolutism (anekantvada). This is the idea that a viewpoint cannot be 100 percent true; therefore, every viewpoint has to have at least some truth to it. This principle inherently encourages dialogue and harmony with other ideas, beliefs, and perspectives.

Using human lives to push a personal agenda is politics at its absolute worst.

We need to worry about those who are alive: little children with parents who don’t want them, teenage girls who made a mistake they (and their child) will live with the rest of their lives, women who are raped. These are real lives.

so the stigma and black-and-white debates around abortion don’t speak to the nuances of people’s experiences, beliefs, and families.

We’ve been married ten years and people are like, ‘When are you going to have a child?’ As if that is the defining moment of my life.”

Just because she had to figure it out on her own doesn’t mean others should have to.

There is no other medical procedure that requires a doctor to read a propaganda-based script that has been written by politicians.

Abortion is health care. But there is no other form of health care that requires patients to face as many obstacles. The laws don’t dictate how we counsel patients before their knee surgery. The laws don’t make us lie to our patients before their colonoscopy. Our system is failing people, especially people of color.

Miscarriage is incredibly common—about one in five pregnancies will stop growing and result in early pregnancy loss. My patients often ask me what it is that they did to cause the miscarriage, many times with tears in their eyes. I tell them that pregnancy loss is almost never because of something that they did. But the shame and stigma around miscarriage is real, and it can leave people feeling alone and isolated.

Abortion is health care and keeping health care inaccessible is ethically wrong.

Abortion later in pregnancy is not what patients anticipate for themselves; it’s not how they see their pregnancies unfolding.

The RHA does not mean that abortion after twenty-four weeks is permissible for any reason, despite how some conservative lawmakers have characterized the legislation. That is simply not how abortion care works.

My patients who experience later abortion are often already going through so much and should be allowed to do so in dignity and peace. Every pregnancy is unique, and we shouldn’t enforce arbitrary restrictions when someone’s health needs don’t follow the legislative timelines. Real life just doesn’t work that way.

No one should be unable to access the health care that’s best for them because of who they are, where they live, or what insurance they have.

For centuries, people have been managing their own abortions. Making abortion illegal and inaccessible doesn’t make them stop. They will continue to happen.

“There isn’t a woman in history who had a baby without sperm. So it’s not a ‘women’s health’ issue, it’s a ‘health issue.’ You just handed all the hard stuff to the woman and now you’re going to double down on it by making her feel ashamed and bad about it?”

Whether we’re ready to admit it or not, it still seems to persist that the idea of abortion and bodily autonomy may be perceived as a threat to masculinity. If not outright, then certainly in subtle, subconscious ways.

But what has been challenging about consent is how exactly to define it and how exactly to navigate it with a partner.

“We should have the freedom to do what we want with our own bodies, and that includes sexual freedom and exploration. No one should be ashamed of it,” she remembered saying.

It was just crazy that these people weren’t giving me the information that I wanted. I believe that information is power. I think that people should have the information they need to make an informed decision. You should not be given bits and pieces and then make a decision based on half-truths. You should be given all the information and make a fully thought-out decision based on that.”

This organization was antiabortion but not pro-life.