You're the Only One I've Told: The Stories Behind Abortion

by Meera Shah

The third principle, my favorite and the one that guides my work, is non-absolutism (anekantvada). This is the idea that a viewpoint cannot be 100 percent true; therefore, every viewpoint has to have at least some truth to it. This principle inherently encourages dialogue and harmony with other ideas, beliefs, and perspectives.

many states currently have abortion bans in place that aren’t active because of Roe. But if Roe is gone, these bans become active.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

She was also forced to listen to a detailed description of the ultrasound (she was about six weeks pregnant and there was cardiac activity), as well as a state-mandated, factually inaccurate script that told patients that there might be a link between abortion and breast cancer. To be very clear, the facts are indisputable: according to the American Cancer Society, there is no scientific evidence that abortion increases the risk of breast cancer or any other cancer, for that matter.6

Forced ultrasounds and medically false information do not discourage patients—they just cause distress.

Waiting periods vary by state. Most states (such as New York, California, and Vermont) don’t have waiting periods, while many others (such as Missouri, Pennsylvania, and Alabama) require people to wait for some period of time—from eighteen hours to three days or more—between counseling and the abortion itself.

You know what doesn’t require a waiting period, though? The Texas Rifle Association, just next door.

In 2019, the Trump-Pence administration cut funding for teen pregnancy prevention programs and continually promotes abstinence-only education, policies that have long been proven ineffective by years of research.

Comprehensive sex education has been shown to reduce teen pregnancy without increasing rates of sexual intercourse or sexually transmitted infections.

Thirty-six states include a judicial bypass procedure, which allows a minor to obtain approval from a court. No state requires parental consent or notification for a minor to continue a pregnancy and become a parent.

The Turnaway Study researchers discovered through their work that when someone is turned away from a desired abortion, they are four times more likely to live below the federal poverty line and less likely to have aspirational life plans in the coming year (among many other barriers to a thriving life).

They are less likely to be employed and more likely to rely on public assistance. 4

She first came to WWHA on a Friday to receive state-mandated counseling, have a state-mandated ultrasound to date the pregnancy, and to be read a state-mandated script of several bullet points. These range from medical misinformation about when a fetus feels pain and a warning about the “physical risks to a woman having an abortion,” to a controversial line about when life “begins.” After the ultrasound was done, she was required to see an image of a fetus that corresponded to her gestational age. The state requires that this image be in color. Nowhere does this script emphasize that abortion is one of the safest medical procedures. Nowhere does it acknowledge that some people and some religions have different views on when life begins. Nowhere does the state consider the feelings of the pregnant person not wanting to see the ultrasound or a picture of a fetus. What this script does is try to coerce people to continue a pregnancy and give birth.

There is no other medical procedure that requires a doctor to read a propaganda-based script that has been written by politicians.

Many of the lawmakers making decisions about abortion access are men, largely straight, cis, white men. And men make up a large proportion of the antiabortion movement (whereas more women and nonbinary people lend their voice and their efforts to fighting for reproductive health and access).

a woman’s right to use birth control turned into a woman’s responsibility to use birth control, which is not fair and not inclusive.

in Arkansas, a bill was passed in 2017 that made it so the person who impregnated an individual had to give permission for that person to obtain an abortion.

Talking about women in a derogatory way (using words like “slut”), minimizing emotions (and calling each other “pussy” when they do show emotion), and exerting power are common ways boys and young men are taught to behave.

A recent study shows that young men whose partners had an abortion are also more likely to reach their educational goals, such as graduate from college.

Today, one in six hospital beds in the United States is in a Catholic hospital.

The biggest issue with denying care based on religious views is just that: denying care.

“New partnerships can be viewed as opportunities for Catholic health care institutions and services to witness to their religious and ethical commitments and so influence the healing profession. For example, new partnerships can help to implement the Church’s social teaching.”5 And in the newest directives, they made the language more restrictive and made no room for allowing “immoral procedures,” which obviously refers to abortion.6

abortion access is often determined by how much money a person has access to. It’s not fair.

Despite bleeding and multiple trips to the hospital, she continued to be turned away. At twenty-seven weeks, the hospital induced labor due to severe hemorrhaging. Her baby died shortly after. “He tried to breathe—it was a horrible sound. He turned blue for three hours and eighteen minutes before his heart stopped. It wasn’t a magical time like people think. It was awful,” she said.

my colleagues at these Catholic institutions often have to go against what they know is medical best practice in order to abide by the policies and not get fired.

Planned Parenthood created an acronym model called FRIES to help clarify consent: Freely given. Doing something sexual with someone is a decision that should be made without pressure, force, manipulation, or while under the influence of substances. Reversible. Anyone can change their mind about what they want to do, at any time—even if you’ve done it before or are in the middle of having sex. Informed. Be honest. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, that’s not consent. Enthusiastic. If someone is coerced, isn’t excited, or isn’t really into it, that’s not consent. Specific. Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean they’ve said yes to others (like oral sex).

A crisis pregnancy center or pregnancy resource center is in fact a fake health center that attracts patients with their “free ultrasounds” and “pregnancy options counseling.” Their intent is not to provide compassionate support to the patient, though. Their goal is to lie to patients about abortions and coerce them to continue their pregnancy.

Patients are shown disturbing plastic models of a developing fetus or pictures of an aborted fetus. Patients are often told they will be given food, baby clothes, and diapers if they continue the pregnancy—these promises are rarely fulfilled. These strategies are unethical.

One of the scariest things that fake health centers do is use delaying tactics.

Telling people they are earlier than they really are in their pregnancy is a way for antiabortion people to convince patients they have time to wait, often until their options to obtain a legal abortion narrow.

In fact, there are about four thousand fake health centers compared to the 780 real providers of abortion care.5

in the 2018 case National Institute of Family and Life Advocates v. Becerra, the Supreme Court ruled that fake health centers in California do not have to disclose exactly what services they do or do not provide.

I asked her specifically if they had any resources to get support with childcare, diapers, formula, or clothes for a newborn. She told me that she didn’t know of any resources but that they had counselors and pregnancy centers who could provide ultrasounds for a pregnant woman. Disappointed, I hung up the phone. This organization was antiabortion but not pro-life.

I want readers to see how ruthless and nefarious the antiabortion movement has been. By changing the composition of the Supreme Court, stacking the lower courts, diverting patients to their fake health centers, electing antiabortion officials, directly and indirectly lowering the number of providers performing abortions, shaming patients at the door, and perpetuating a culture of stigma, they are not going to give up anytime soon.