You're the Only One I've Told: The Stories Behind Abortion

by Meera Shah

Conservative Christians within the antiabortion movement would do anything to prevent people from having abortions, in the name of religion.

Violence against physicians like me who provide abortion care is a very real concern.

I’ve always believed that the simple act of sharing stories is one of the most effective ways to influence, teach, and inspire change. Storytelling creates emotional connections between people. By sharing the nuances of culture, history, and values, people and ideas are united through their stories. Even if an individual can’t identify with another’s exact experience, there is usually some component of the story, even as small as the fleeting, universal emotions of fear or happiness, that can be shared and appreciated.

But blame the patriarchy, stigma, internet trolls, or simple shame—sharing abortion stories freely is not the norm in our culture.

we can say that someone is brave to choose themselves when often societal and familial actors actively try to take away their reproductive autonomy. When someone chooses the health care they need despite the backlash they may face, yes, that’s brave.

If someone is capable of getting pregnant, they are capable of an unintended pregnancy, which may or may not lead to abortion.

There is no such thing as a good abortion or bad abortion or someone who is worthy of an abortion or someone who is not. These stories show that people who have abortions are human beings with varied life experiences, just like everyone else. The decision to have an abortion doesn’t always stem from trauma or turmoil either; sometimes it’s easy and simple. One is not unique because they had an abortion. An abortion does not define someone; it is one event in a person’s life.

Denying someone an abortion to make a statement about morality is ignoring the root cause of the issue.

Author addresses people who want an abortion centered because of the assigned gender identity - specifically Indian women who seek to terminate pregnancy where the fetus is identified as female. Also makes notes of the prevalence of the practice in China and rural areas in India.

Believe it or not, everyone knows and loves someone who has had an abortion.

Their findings suggest that exposure to the stories of those who have had abortions can reduce abortion stigma.

Abortion will always be accessible for affluent people, white people—even conservative ones—and those publicly fighting against abortion access.

Politicians have taken access away from people of color, low-income people, people who cannot afford to lose work, and those who face consequences including parental retaliation and abuse. They have manipulated the complex emotions people have about life and personhood while fearing bodily autonomy to make abortion a polarizing tool to gain and hold onto political power.

Governor Kim Reynolds (a woman) of Iowa was one of the many politicians who signed a “heartbeat bill” early in 2018, which would outlaw abortion past the time at which the cardiac activity can be detected on ultrasound—about six weeks.

Blocked from enforcement in 2023, but later unblocked in July 2024 by the Iowa Supreme Court and now currently the heartbeat bill is in effect in Iowa. (1-1-25)

HB 413 in Ohio,

133rd General Assembly Sec. 2904.35 Subsection C "Takes all possible steps to preserve the life of the child, while preserving the life of the woman. Such steps include, if applicable, attempting to reimplant an ectopic pregnancy into the woman's uterus." - Abortion is legal in Ohio until as termed fetal viability (21 weeks, 6 days) thanks to Ohio Issue 1 adopted by a citizen voter majority (56.8%) in Nov. 2023.

What we need to do is look at the root causes of poverty and address those.

Tuskegee, Alabama,

Conducted by the CDC & the USPHS (1932-1972) - "Next time that somebody tells you, the gov. wouldn't do that..."

North Carolina had an official Eugenics Board

The Eugenics Board of North Carolina EBNC - formally abolished by the Legislature (1977)

Norma McCorvey)

The original "for me but not for thee."

the zip code in which you live determines the type of health care coverage you receive.

What politicians don’t realize is that abortion won’t end just because they restrict it.

I hate this narrative - that if they just saw a woman get an illegal abortion all of sudden conservatives would repeal Heartbeat Bills and that's just not the case. It has nothing to do with a lack of knowledge and EVERYTHING to do with a lack of interest or concern.

My patients don’t come to me with a political agenda, they come to me seeking health care.

according to the American Cancer Society, there is no scientific evidence that abortion increases the risk of breast cancer or any other cancer, for that matter.

The Texas Rifle Association, just next door. The irony of this was not lost on Sara.

To be clear, there is no waiting period to purchase a firearm in Texas. You only need to wait a few min. to pass a background check & need a govt. ID like a driver's license. There is NO background check required to obtain a License to Carry. (1-2-25)

Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace”—

wanting to become a mother and being ready to become a mother were two separate things.

life, in and of itself, in all the ugly ways, is beautiful.

Missouri was one of many conservative states in mid-2019 that has tried to enforce abortion restrictions.

Abortion is banned at fetal viability, generally 24-26 weeks. Doctors who violate this order will face, at minnimum, 1 year in prison. (1-2-25)

How many people haven’t been able to do the same, have been forced to stay with their abusers or keep them in their orbit because they shared children?

An estimated 3.4 million women have experienced Rape-Related Pregnancy [Rape and Sexual Coercion Related Pregnancy in the United States D'Angelo, Denise V. et al. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, Volume 66, Issue 3, 389 - 398] In many states a rape conviction is still required in order for the rapist to lose their parental rights and they can even sue their victims for joint custody of the child. [34 USC Ch. 213: RAPE SURVIVOR CHILD CUSTODY]

parental consent does not always translate to parental support.

If I had the choice, I might have chosen the abortion, but I might not have. But it didn’t matter. The choice was made for me,” she said.

I'm glad that this story is added. It's just as important to have forced abortions a center point as it is to have abortions chosen by the people who get them.

Black Mamas Matter Alliance is a Black-women led organization that fights for Black maternal health, rights, and justice.

she won’t make her own children feel bad about sex and its outcomes. Only empowered.

I cried. She's incredible.

Jane

There were no reports of abortion-related death as a result of their work, though some patients ended up having to go to the emergency room afterwards and other had to undergo hysterectomies. The Diary Of Jane - Breaking Benjamin

no one talked about birth control.”

1972 - The right to privacy and, by extension, contraception, extends to unmarried people, in the Supreme Court Case, ‘Eisenstadt v. Baird.’ 1977 - The court extended First Amendment protection to contraceptive advertisements (Carey v Population Services International) though the first ads weren't widely available until the 1990's

There was no organized, visible anti-abortion movement. There was no cultural obsession with the issue. It was mainly an individual problem for individual women,” Dr. Joffe explained.

The CDC reports that in 1972 alone, 130,000 women obtained illegal or self-induced procedures, 39 of whom died.

the fact that abortion was legal in New York in 1972 meant that my life was not over at nineteen, that I still had a future, and that when I did become a mother in 1984, it was something for which I was endlessly grateful and still am,” Paige added to our interview over email.

I don’t regret the decision, but sometimes I certainly regret that my birth control failed.”

You as the person having the abortion have to live with the decisions you’ve made—and that’s OK. That’s as it should be. I don’t want other people making my mistakes for me, making my decisions for me. They have no right.”

Patients should not have to teach their providers how to take care of them; providers should understand the needs of the communities they are caring for.

we should not equate “women’s health” with “reproductive health.”

Women should not be reduced to their reproductive anatomy and reproductive health should be inclusive of all people, of all gender identities, needing to access it.

“My dad has told me a few times that his life really went downhill after we had that procedure. He said that he feels like God is punishing him for what he did.

Male privilege

“As a grown-up now, I feel no shame in what I did.”

Alex said that feeling part of a community was what it took to make them feel like they were forgiven.

“God understands my situation,” Alex said.

All the while, her son was growing, waving to her on ultrasounds and playing tag with her in her stomach. They were figuring out this whole motherhood thing together.

Okay now that’s sweet.

For many pregnant people, risking or sacrificing health in order to get or keep a job is their only option.

“I was so grateful that I had so much time with him, that he was with me until my body would not allow him to be with me. I got as long as I possibly could be with him.”

I cried. Again. Dang it!

Utah’s governor signed a bill, HB166, into law in March 2019, preventing a pregnant person from having an abortion if the sole reason is that the fetus has Down syndrome.