You're the Only One I've Told: The Stories Behind Abortion

by Meera Shah

I’ve always believed that the simple act of sharing stories is one of the most effective ways to influence, teach, and inspire change. Storytelling creates emotional connections between people. By sharing the nuances of culture, history, and values, people and ideas are united through their stories. Even if an individual can’t identify with another’s exact experience, there is usually some component of the story, even as small as the fleeting, universal emotions of fear or happiness, that can be shared and appreciated.

Should someone be called brave for doing what they felt was best for them? I don’t think so. But we can say that someone is brave to choose themselves when often societal and familial actors actively try to take away their reproductive autonomy. When someone chooses the health care they need despite the backlash they may face, yes, that’s brave. People should be treated with the same dignity and respect regardless of what decisions they make for themselves about pregnancy and parenting.

There is no such thing as a good abortion or bad abortion or someone who is worthy of an abortion or someone who is not. These stories show that people who have abortions are human beings with varied life experiences, just like everyone else. The decision to have an abortion doesn’t always stem from trauma or turmoil either; sometimes it’s easy and simple. One is not unique because they had an abortion. An abortion does not define someone; it is one event in a person’s life.

He taught me that religion is at the core of so many people’s sense of self and that one way to understand others is to try to understand their faith.

Medicine can tell us when pregnancy begins and when a fetus is likely to be viable outside of the womb, but the concept of life is more abstract and varies depending on an individual’s belief.

Denying someone an abortion to make a statement about morality is ignoring the root cause of the issue.

Believe it or not, everyone knows and loves someone who has had an abortion.

Some find it hard to believe, but one in four women in America has an abortion in her lifetime (the study presented the data with reference to “women”).9 That means someone you know or someone you love has had one—even if they don’t talk about it. Most people don’t believe me when I tell them this statistic, but I emphasize that if people talked about abortion more, they would definitely believe it. Abortion is very common. Not understanding how common it is has contributed to the belief that it is shameful and rare.

Abortion will always be accessible for affluent people, white people—even conservative ones—and those publicly fighting against abortion access. Politicians have taken access away from people of color, low-income people, people who cannot afford to lose work, and those who face consequences including parental retaliation and abuse. They have manipulated the complex emotions people have about life and personhood while fearing bodily autonomy to make abortion a polarizing tool to gain and hold onto political power.

The obsession with banning abortion and restricting access to it has become a political tool that disregards people’s health, as well as the realities of science.

We have to address the critical issues of raising minimum wage, ensuring childcare, guaranteeing family leave, and addressing racism and implicit bias that continue to thwart economic opportunities. Many people seeking abortion care are living in poverty, and if they have an abortion, they will likely still be in poverty. What we need to do is look at the root causes of poverty and address those.

The term “reproductive justice” was coined in 1994 by twelve Black women and defined as the human right to have children, to not have children, and to parent the children they have in a safe and sustainable environment. In 2007, this theory was expanded by these same women to include the right to sexual pleasure.

Sometimes, the only way to create change for the future is by telling our stories from the past—and the present.

The antiabortion movement has done an incredibly effective job of disseminating false information about abortion care, so a simple Google search can leave people confused. In 2019, Google Ads announced a new policy that requires advertisers wanting to run ads using keywords related to abortion to first be certified as a place that provides abortion to distinguish them from places that do not.4 While this was seen as a win, actual websites can still be difficult to discern as real or fake.

Comprehensive sex education has been shown to reduce teen pregnancy without increasing rates of sexual intercourse or sexually transmitted infections.

We may lose the chance to support people if we brush past the struggles that some have.

While abortion is “the termination of a pregnancy,” this is not how abortion is often talked about in our culture, so the stigma and black-and-white debates around abortion don’t speak to the nuances of people’s experiences, beliefs, and families.

“It’s not about being pro-choice, it’s about being pro-truth.”

“And medical care is not always about saving a life, there are times when we ask families to choose to remove life support,”

“Late-term abortion” is not actually a medical term but is one that was coined by the antiabortion movement to confuse, mislead, and increase stigma.

The biggest issue with denying care based on religious views is just that: denying care. As physicians, we swear by something called the Hippocratic Oath, which says to “First do no harm.” As a physician myself, I can’t imagine placing my own personal beliefs above caring for another human being. If a patient presents to a doctor’s office or to a hospital, they expect to receive nonjudgmental, unbiased health care. They shouldn’t fear going to an institution that allows providers to pick and choose what care they feel comfortable providing. It’s unethical.