We want to be grateful, and we know that if we accept her paying for our wedding, we won’t be able to go against her wishes in the future. That would show her ingratitude.” They politely turned the gift down. Arabs call this “loading someone down with beauty.” The gift is beautiful, and the giver looks like a generous benefactor. But it is given to control others by placing them into the debt of the giver. The beautiful gift or service is not given to bless but to obligate.
