Barely Functional Adult: It’ll All Make Sense Eventually

by Meichi Ng

I spent the years that followed feeling silly that someone was able to make such a lasting impact on my life in such a short period of time, but I’ve since learned that time and impact are disturbingly uncorrelated when it comes to the people we love.

It was a breakup that was mutually agreed upon, but just because a breakup is mutual doesn’t mean it hurts any less. Some breakups are indiscriminately destructive—everyone gets hurt regardless of the part they played.

Nobody chooses to be stuck on someone. They just are. So if you’re telling someone to “just get over it,” odds are, you’re being a bit of a pill.

My understanding of “moving on” has shifted substantially over the years. I no longer consider moving on to be synonymous with not caring. I think it’s more complex than that. I think moving on is about allowing ourselves to remember the good and the bad, to distinguish the past from the present, and to accept who we are, who we were, and everyone we met along the way.

Secondly, work will always be work, regardless of how much you love doing it. The key distinction between work and fun is in the concession of choice—you can’t just choose not to work when you don’t feel like it—you have to do it no matter what. So when you take something you love and make it your work, it stops being the charming whim you so freely pursue. And if you no longer have the freedom to choose when and where you do the things that you love, then where’s the fun in that?