Writing Dirty (BTU Alumni, #5)

by Alley Ciz

Really…is it my fault I can’t get my heart to fall in line?

Pausing at the bottom of the stairs, I turn to watch my ex-boyfriend-turned-bestie corral my dog, wondering how I can be so good at writing other people’s happily-ever-afters when I can’t figure out my own.

God she’s beautiful.

Madison Belle McClain might very well be the death of me.

I’d burn the world down before I let anything happen to Madison Belle McClain.

I loathe that this asshole thinks he has any right to Maddey, that he thinks she belongs to him when I know she’s the other half of my soul. All I need is for him to make a move so I can prove it.

“You may be used to seeing the world in shades of green in your night vision goggles and all that, but I think this particular green haze of envy you have going on is preventing you from seeing what is right in front of your face.”

The anger, the rage, the utter fury of wanting to burn the world down just to keep Maddey safe is finally starting to ebb with each sweet inhalation of coconut.

There’s my little fighter. Fuck me if this side of her isn’t my favorite.

“You’re the only one I trust to play bodyguard, Hook.”

She means the world to me too. Oh shit. I love her.

I thought I was in trouble battling it out with my attraction, but to have feelings—real, deep, make-her-my-forever type feelings—changes things.

The words hit like a punch in the gut. Maddey is the precious jewel of the McClain family—just don’t let her hear you call her that. The McClains have always been like family, and to hear how highly they regard me means everything. I can only hope that opinion doesn’t change when I make my move to make her mine.

I’ve fought this long enough. My attraction. My feelings. The chemistry. I’ve warred with my sense of loyalty to my friends. I can’t deny it any longer. Maddey is mine, and it’s time for her to realize it.

I am going to show her in every possible way imaginable how much I love her. And when we run out of those? Well, she’s an author—I’m sure she can come up with a few creative ideas.

She may be submitting to my kisses, but she is my equal in every way. We belong together. Time to prove it to her.

“I was a perfect gentleman. I didn’t even sneak a peek. Because, baby—”

“—when I get my hands on you again, it will be so much more than copping a feel.”

“You’re mine, Tink.”

“You’re mine, Madz.”

“I’m going to own every part of you.”

“Like you own every pa...

I loved her before, but now? There’s no going back.

It’s the affection, the adoration swimming in his chocolatey gaze that has my heart turning into a pumpkin.

There is absolutely no better way to wake up than with the woman you love in your arms.

“I love you.” She gasps and shakes her head. “No you don’t.” “The fuck I don’t.” I bring my forehead down to rest on hers. “I love you and have loved you for years.” Even if I only just made the connection. “Dex.” She chokes out a sob, squeezing her eyes shut tight. “Look at me, Tink.” Forever passes before she does as she’s told. “I. Love. You.”

“No matter how big or small, you came to me if you needed anything.” I kiss up and down her neck. “You trust me because I’ve always been your shelter in the storm.”

“Maddey.” I drop my hold on the anklet to cup the side of her face. “I’m sorry I hurt you by talking to Justin and Paul without you the first time.” “I know. I already forgave you for that this morning when you told me why you did it.” “This also is in no way an indication of me thinking you can’t handle yourself.” I refasten the clasp. “This is just me making sure I’ll have your back no matter where you are.”

“I’m only going to say this once, so you better fucking listen.” I square up against Maddey’s ex. Yes, I’ve been intimidated in the past by all the could-have-beens she and Ryan share, but I’m done. “I love Maddey.”

“You may have loved her first, but I’m sure as shit gonna love her last.” For the first time in hours, something essential inside me settles. I’ve always said Maddey is my anchor, and admitting that I’m going to marry the hell out of her in front of some of the most important people in her life only serves to dig that anchor deeper into my heart. “Now, if you’re done questioning the validity of the plan created by three men who have collectively done over a thousand maritime missions”—I move around him—“I suggest you shut the fuck up and get out of our way so we can bring my girl back home.”

Love is… Love is going to bed thinking of the person even when you were with them all day. Love is wanting to share good news with them when you get it. Love is being there for the bad even if you can’t be there physically. Love is sharing all the stupid stuff that makes you laugh or think of them just because. It’s needing to be near them because their presence alone is enough to make you feel better. It’s finding excuses to touch them in the most mundane ways because the physical contact settles something deep inside you. It’s joking and teasing and giving each other crap. It’s accepting their weirdness just because. It’s knowing when to push and when to not, being able to read each other and give them what they need. Holy motherfucking shit-balls. I love Dex. I’m in love with Dex.

“I’m going to do so much more than kiss you, Tink, so much more than all those things you just asked for.” A quick peck then he’s back in the same maddening position. “I’m going to give you the best damn happily ever after you’ve ever seen.” And he seals it—haha, I’m so punny—with a kiss.

“Madison Belle McClain…you have been my happiest place on earth for as long as I can remember.”

“You and me, Tink, we’re a tale as old as time. I always knew you were a girl worth fighting for.” I run a finger over the slight scar by her elbow where bullies caused her to bleed years ago, a nod to the moment she told me was when she first thought she fell in love with me. “It may have taken me until a few years later to have my This is love moment, but you always had hope that one day your prince would come—even if you tried to be all I won’t say I’m in love when I first tried being part of your world.”

“I’ve been waiting a lifetime for you, Tink.”

“Even when we fought it, you were always mine and I was always yours.”

“I told you”—he runs a thumb along my own Tinker Bell on my collarbone—“you’re my anchor. I got her there so you can always watch my six.”