Game Changer

by Neal Shusterman

We want to portray abusers as having no redeeming qualities. We want to believe a guy who can treat a woman like that is evil through and through. In movies and TV, you always know the abuser, because he’s BAD with a capital B. It’s all clear-cut and simple, and we shake our heads at the poor women who are naïve enough to fall for them. Can’t they see that capital B? What’s wrong with them? It makes the rest of us feel good to know we’re so much smarter. But that’s not real life. Because most abusers aren’t assholes in wifebeaters who smack their bitch around because “she deserves it.” They’re guys wearing a T-shirt of your favorite band. They’re funny and charming, and genuine and respectful, right until the moment they’re not. But by the time those nastier colors bleed through, you’re already snared. Because by then, they know you. They know exactly where your buttons are—not just your buttons but your wounds, too. All those soft vulnerable places filled with self-doubt. They find those places, insert themselves deep, and have their way.