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recently it’s always felt right. Today it feels like I’m overstepping.
expected at least a bit of appreciation, but all I’m seeing is dissatisfaction. I freeze, suddenly feeling vulnerable and insecure. When did his opinion start to matter to me so much?
He glances at the modest amount of cleavage I’m displaying and grits his teeth. He looks annoyed and my self-esteem takes a hit. I suddenly wish I could cover up. I feel like a fool for dressing up today.
“Go ahead. Call HR. I’d love to see how that goes. Go ahead and tell them Mrs. Devereaux, your wife, is harassing you.”
One second we were having breakfast together and the next you stormed out. We had a great weekend together, so I don’t get where this is coming from. If you don’t talk to me, then how am I supposed to know what’s on your mind? If you don’t tell me where I went wrong, how can I learn from my mistakes?”
We have no obligations to each other. I’ve been too narrow-minded. My view of marriage has always been traditional, but this isn’t a real marriage. Fidelity and loyalty… they aren’t things I expect of you. Hell, they aren’t even things I want from you.”
“I’d really prefer it if you and I could remain the way we were before we got married. Let’s forget about the rules too. I’d like us to start seeing other people.” I stare at him in shock. “You… you want to start seeing other people?” I repeat numbly. Daniel clenches his jaws and nods. I shake my head. “No,” I say, panicking internally. Daniel chuckles darkly. “You don’t have a say in this, Alyssa. Divorce me, for all I care. I love DM, but it’s just a company. It isn’t the same without your father here anyway. I have plenty on my plate with Devereaux Inc.”
Jerk
He’s with a beautiful woman. Another skinny model, no doubt. She looks familiar, so she must be quite famous. She’s got his suit coat over her shoulders and looks up at him adoringly as he smiles at her. She’s holding on to his arm as he walks her the final few steps to his Aston Martin. Looks like they walked out of a well-known romantic restaurant. It’s also got a waiting list of three months, and I’ve never even been there. I guess that’s how he was spending some of the evenings that he didn’t eat at home.
I was stupid to think that Daniel was different. He’s always shown me exactly who he is. Those photos have always been up. The tradition started when I was still an intern years ago. It continued all the way through when I worked part time during uni and only stopped when my dad passed away. I’ve seen the photo of every single woman he’s been with, so why am I still surprised? I can’t compete with those women, and it seems I couldn’t capture his attention for more than a few weeks, anyway. I’d rather find out now than later.
I never thought I’d sit here and cry over a man, though. I shake my head at my own foolishness.
I wonder how long she’ll last. They rarely make it beyond three weeks.
“She’s just your type, isn’t she? Tall, blonde and with no curves to speak off. No wonder you wanted to start seeing other people. All the girls you’ve been with are the opposite of me. Like I said, she’s pretty. What else am I supposed to say? Well done?” I’m average height with dark brown hair, green eyes and more curves than he can fit in his hands. I’m not even remotely fat, but I’m certainly not catwalk thin either.
I’m sorry I kept clinging to you all week last week. I kept pestering you to watch movies with me and to eat with me. I won’t do it again. I apologise. You were quite clear when you told me you wanted to see other people… that you wanted us to be the way we were before we got married. I’ll work to make that happen. I won’t overstep again.”
“You don’t need to make excuses, Daniel. Our marriage isn’t the type where that is required. Like you said… You’ll do what you want and there’s nothing I can do about it if I want to inherit my father’s shares. Point taken. You needn’t worry. You’ve made it clear that I don’t have any rights to you. I’ll stop now. I’ll stop seeing things that clearly aren’t there.”
I actually waited up for him every single night last week, but he never bothered to come for dinner. He never informed me he’d be late either.
I didn’t want either of us to feel forced in this relationship. I didn’t want you to feel like you’re just with me because you have no other choice. I wanted us to be able to do whatever we want, yet hopefully still choose to spend time together.”
I’m telling you. I didn’t cheat on you. Do you want to ask Giselle? I can call her right now.” I blink. “Giselle? The girl you were with last Saturday is your ex? The one that miraculously lasted more than three months?”
Ooooh u just made things 900x worse
To our knowledge, Mr. Devereaux has never taken legal action against the countless rumours floating around about him. One can’t help but wonder whether there might be a reason, or a lady, behind the former Casanova’s sudden surprising actions. After all, he hasn’t been spotted with anyone in months now.
He extends his arm and I cuddle into him the way I’ve gotten used to, with my back against his side and my head resting on his arm.
“Oh, my god. I’ve been hearing about you for years. To think Daniel and you finally ended up together. I’m so happy for you,” she gushes.
“Tell me you’ll be mine for as long as we’re married, Alyssa. Promise me you’ll be mine like I am yours.”
“Yes, sweetheart. I’m yours,” he says. “I promise.”
He always used to pet my hair when I was a kid and I used to love it then, but I hate it now. It makes me feel like he still sees me as a child.
scroll through the list of movies we saved on Netflix before settling on a chick flick, while Daniel continues to read through documents. I feel content sitting here with him, doing essentially nothing.
I can feel him hardening against my inner thigh, but just when I think he’s going to kiss me, he pulls away. He pushes himself away from me, my arms slipping away.
I slowly lower my face to his, giving him enough time to pull away. I kiss the edge of his mouth and then press my lips against his, once, twice, before gently sucking on his lower lip. Daniel is tense and doesn’t kiss me back. Instead, he sits there, frozen. I pull away, filled with regret. He stares at me and I look away, mortified. I was so sure he wanted me too.
I’ve only taken three steps before he’s behind me. He grabs my arm and pulls me back against him. I stumble and place my hands on his chest to stabilise myself. He tangles one of his hands in my hair and puts the other around my waist. He tips my head up and his lips crash against mine hungrily. He moans against my lips as he kisses me. I rise to my tiptoes to deepen the kiss, and Daniel tangles his tongue with mine. His hands roam over my body eagerly.
“Fuck, Alyssa.” He presses another lingering kiss against my lips. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he whispers.
I smile at him and nip at his lips. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to kiss me,” I tell him.
He smiles against my lips and kisses me back, deeply and gently this time. My heart feels so full that I’m feeling emotional. Is it possible for a single kiss to make you feel deeply loved?
I look at Daniel over Dominic’s shoulder. He looks stricken for a second before his eyes fill with resignation. He looks away, dismayed, and turns to walk to his bedroom. I grab his wrist as he walks past us and he pauses, his eyes dropping to where I’m holding him.
Daniel looks at the two of us, and I see it clearly now. He’s jealous and insecure, but I don’t know how to make it better without letting Dominic down.
It wasn’t fair of me to use her to get over the feelings I have for you. I know it’s months too late, but I haven’t been able to think of anything but you. I don’t want to put our friendship at risk, but I had to tell you. I need you to know I feel the same way.”
“You’re not in love with me, Nic. Just like I wasn’t in love with you. We’re just used to each other. We’re comfortable with each other, and out of that comfort came infatuation. It’s not love, and it’ll pass.” Dominic shakes his head. “You can’t truly believe that. I know you feel the way I do, Alyssa. I’m sorry I didn’t realise it straight away. I’m sorry I made you wait for so long.”
I walk up to him slowly until I’m standing right beside him. I’m feeling insecure and I’m scared he might push me away.
“Stop,” he snaps. “Go to sleep. Don’t try me Alyssa, or so help me God, I will throw you out.”
I wrap my arms around my chest protectively. I feel vulnerable and exposed, and all I want to do is hide.
Daniel lowers himself a little and holds himself up on one arm so he can cup my cheek with his hand. He turns my head towards him as a tear escapes my eye. I look up at him, all my insecurities on display. Daniel looks hurt, even though I’m the one crying. He kisses away the tear that’s rolled down my cheek, his lips lingering on my skin.
“It’s not you who should be sorry, baby. I’m sorry for snapping at you. You always have my consent to touch me. Whenever, wherever. I told you I’m yours, right?”
You say one thing and do another. I’m tired of guessing, Daniel. I’m tired of wondering whether you want me too. I’m done.”
I bet you’re happy he returns your feelings after all. You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember, right? Must be nice to have him love you back. You don’t need to come in here and pretend it changes nothing when it changes everything. I bet you really regret signing that fidelity contract now, huh? How long do you think you’ll last before it’s his bedroom you’ll be sneaking into?”
So Daniel behaving this way is him lashing out in jealousy? Interesting. He doesn’t snap or behave in any obvious ways, he just pulls away from me.
“Alyssa, I’m not in the mood to play games with you,” he says. I see it clearly now. He’s feeling as insecure and vulnerable as I do.
Over the last couple of years Daniel and Dominic have grown apart, but it’s never been clear to me why. I’m worried I might become another thing that stands between them, and I’m not sure what to do about it.
He’s done speaking to me and I know I’m in for some silent treatment.
Even if you’re serious about this, I don’t feel the same way. I might’ve had a crush on you because we were so close and so familiar with each other, but that’s it. It’s in the past. You’re right to say it’s not worth putting our friendship at risk over.” I
His behaviour showed me what both Daniel and Mary have seen all along. That Dominic has a long way to go in terms of growing up. I don’t want to be the one he learns his lessons through.
know my brother better than anyone. He’s impatient and ruthless in bed. If he wanted you, he would’ve already pursued you. Since that hasn’t happened, the only way he’ll sleep with you is if at some point it’s convenient. If he’s got an itch to scratch. It won’t be out of desire or blinding lust, like his weekend girls.”
Regardless of what happens between Daniel and I… you and I will never be together, Nic. I don’t want to lose you as a friend, but I need you to drop this now.”
“Why do you move away from me? Am I that repulsive to you? You seemed fine kissing me yesterday, so what happened? Do you regret it?” Daniel sits up and stares at me with wide eyes. “Repulsive? What kind of bullshit is that? No, of course not. It’s just… being here is weird. Besides, I saw you walk into Dominic’s bedroom earlier. You spent hours in there with him.”
