Under the Whispering Door

by T.J. Klune

Wallace whispered, “It’s easy to let yourself spiral and fall.” “It is,” Nelson agreed. “But it’s what you do to pull yourself out of it that matters most.”

It’s easy to kick us when we’re down. And it’s frighteningly easy to allow those blows to fall, even as we try and cover ourselves as best we can. Getting up? Now, that’s hard. I know that firsthand. I know how it feels to spiral, to fall into a pit of toxicity disguised as grieving. Grief is inherently selfish because it’s about how it makes us feel as individuals, and that’s okay. But where it gets dangerous is if that grief, that toxicity, becomes everything you know. I’ve been there and oh, was I angry. At the world. At the people going about their lives as if mine hadn’t just been razed to the ground. I was furious at everyone and everything for continuing to exist as if I weren’t shattered into pieces. It took me a long time to crawl out of that pit, and there are days when I think I might be sliding back. Nelson is right: it might be hard to pick yourself back up, but that’s what counts. That’s the most important thing.