Is This Anything?

by Jerry Seinfeld

In My 60s I love being in my 60s. I want to be clear about that. It’s my favorite decade of human life so far. When you’re in your 60s, and someone asks you to do something, you just say, “No.” No reason. No excuse. No explanation. I can’t wait for my 70s. I don’t even think I’ll answer. I think you just wave when you’re in your 70s. That’s what I’ve seen those people do… “Hey, you want to check out that flea market…?” (Walks away and just “waves it off” without looking back…) I like this time. I don’t want to change, grow, improve myself, expand my interests, meet anyone or learn anything I don’t already know. I don’t lie in restaurants anymore. “How is everything?” “I don’t like it here.” “Would you like the check?” “No. I intend to press charges actually. This is outrageous. You must be shut down. Don’t touch these plates. This is a crime scene. I’m going to put some yellow tape around it.”