Is This Anything?

by Jerry Seinfeld

Parent Style I am not a huge fan of the parenting style of the current generation, in which I include myself. I have no idea what happened, but somehow we got just a little too all into it. Where did we learn this? When we were kids, our parents didn’t give a damn about us. Here’s how you grew up. You were born to people. You lived in their house. The day you moved out you turned around and went, “That was insane. I did not understand 90% of the last 18 years. But I appreciate it. And will be back to visit the minimum acceptable number of times. Nice doing business with you.” (handshaking) We couldn’t wait to get out of that house. Our kids can’t wait to stay right where they are. They know there’s nothing better out there. When mine were little, getting them to sleep every night was like a Royal Coronation Silver Jubilee Centennial. That’s how many different steps and moments there were to it. It started with my wife and I picking up the back of their little bathrobes, and holding them off the floor, (taking one step at a time like holding a royal wedding gown) as we proceeded down the hall to the bathroom, for the brushing, flossing, plaque rinse and dental appliance ceremonies. Then to the bedrooms for the pillow arrangement blanket adjustment and stuffed animal semi-circle of emotional support. To help the little cretins get through 9½ hours without constant positive reinforcement. I had to read each kid eight different moron books. You know what my bedtime story was…?