Is This Anything?

by Jerry Seinfeld

Look Fat My wife is very smart. So, I have to be thinking all the time too. Because the bored female is a very dangerous individual. They will invent games to play to alleviate the boredom that are not fun games. A wife will say, “I’m going to put on an outfit that is completely wrong for my body type, and I would like to get your opinion of it.” Oh no, I don’t want to play this. “Why? It’s not a difficult game. I’m just going to move these different shells around a little and you simply have to pick the right one. I’m just asking if you think this makes me look fat?” “No, I don’t. Because you are not fat, so that would be impossible.” “But if it did make me look fat, would you consider lying to not hurt my feelings?” … “Well, I would never want to hurt your feelings.” “Then you might be lying. I could look fat.” That’s it. Game over. You lose again. “Would you like to play ‘Do you think my friend is pretty’ roulette?” And that’s not even Russian Roulette. There’s a bullet in every chamber of that game.