And here’s where I made another connection. Art was quietly keeping secrets because he didn’t feel acceptable. I was always pushing for conversations he didn’t know how to have, because I was so desperate to hear words other men never said to me. I wanted to know I was accepted. Acceptable and accepted were both feelings we wanted, but the way we went about pursuing those tore us apart instead of bringing us together. The secret to having healthy vulnerability doesn’t start with me feeling safe with Art. Safety is important, for sure. But it doesn’t start with others. It has so much more to do
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