And even if you did decide to forgive, how do you forgive when the ones who hurt you can’t or aren’t willing to cooperate? Maybe they refuse to stop bad behaviors. Maybe they are no longer alive. Or you don’t know where they are. Or to contact them would be dangerous or hurtful. Or you’re afraid they would then expect a restored relationship that’s not possible on your end. Or they wouldn’t be willing to cooperate in the forgiveness process. Or to speak words of forgiveness directly to them would stir up chaos because they don’t think they need to be forgiven.
